I Struggled to Explain My Ideas. These 3 Steps Changed That.

DAY-19

For a long time, I thought being a good communicator meant knowing the right words.

Whenever I had to explain something, I would think about how I should start, what words I should use and whether the other person would understand me. If I had to speak in front of people, I would sometimes prepare sentences in my head before saying them.

The same thing happened with writing.

I would have an idea in my mind, but when I tried to put it into words, everything suddenly felt complicated.

I knew what I wanted to say.

But I didn't know how to say it simply.

Sometimes I would write a long paragraph and then read it again and realize that even I wasn't completely clear about what I was trying to say. That made me believe that maybe I wasn't good at expressing my thoughts.

But slowly, I realized that the problem wasn't really my vocabulary.

It was the way I was thinking about communication.

I was trying too hard to communicate

Whenever I wanted to explain something, I focused too much on myself.

Am I speaking correctly?

Does this sound intelligent?

What if they don't understand me?

Should I use a better word?

I was so busy trying to make my communication perfect that I forgot about the person in front of me. And that's when I understood something important.

Expressing your thoughts isn't only about putting your thoughts into words. It's about connecting your thoughts with another person's understanding.

That changed the way I started looking at writing and speaking. Instead of asking, "How can I sound better?" I started asking: "What is the other person actually trying to understand?"

That small change made expressing myself much easier.

I stopped treating communication like a checklist

I have come across many communication tips.

Speak slowly.

Change your tone.

Pause after an important sentence.

Make eye contact.

Use simple words.

Don't read from notes.

All of these suggestions can be useful. But I realized something. If I consciously think about every single tip while talking, I stop thinking about the actual conversation.

Imagine talking to someone while your mind is saying:

"Now pause."

"Now change your tone."

"Now make eye contact."

"Now move your hands."

It doesn't feel natural. It feels like following instructions.

For me, good communication started becoming easier when I stopped trying to perform communication and started trying to connect with people. When I genuinely wanted the other person to understand me, I naturally slowed down when something was difficult.

I naturally explained something again when I noticed confusion. I naturally became more energetic when I was excited about an idea.

The behavior came from the thought. I didn't have to force it.

Thinking about the person reading my words

This became especially important in my writing. Earlier, I used to think:

"What do I want to write today?"

Now I try to think:

"What will the person reading this experience?"

That doesn't mean I change my thoughts just to please the reader. It means I try to make my thoughts easier to enter. For example, if I am explaining something difficult, I don't expect the reader to understand it immediately.

I might explain the same idea from another angle. Then I might give a simple example. Sometimes I come back to the same idea later because I know that understanding doesn't always happen the first time.

This taught me that repeating an idea isn't always boring. Sometimes repetition creates understanding.

I also learned to say less

One of the biggest changes I made was reducing the number of things I wanted to say. Earlier, when I had an idea, I wanted to include everything.

One thought would lead to another.

Then another.

By the end, I had written a lot, but the main point had become difficult to find.

So now, before I write, I try to identify the most important things I want the reader to remember. Usually, I try to keep it to three.

Not because three is some magical number.

But because I realized that clarity becomes difficult when I keep adding more and more information.

If I have five ideas, I ask myself whether two of them can be combined. If something is interesting but doesn't support the main thought, I remove it. This was difficult initially. I felt that removing information meant making my writing weaker.

Eventually, I realized the opposite.

Removing unnecessary thoughts can make the important thought stronger.

I started writing the way I think

Another thing I changed was the way I wrote my first draft. Earlier, I wanted every sentence to sound good immediately. That slowed me down.

Now, I first try to get the thought out. I write it almost like I am explaining it to a friend. I don't worry too much about making every sentence perfect. Once the thought is outside my head, I can look at it more clearly.

Sometimes I realize that the thought isn't as clear as I imagined.

Sometimes I discover a better idea while writing.

And sometimes I realize that what I thought was one idea is actually three different ideas.

That is one reason I now see writing differently.

Writing doesn't only help me express my thoughts. It helps me discover what I actually think.

The biggest change happened when I stopped trying to sound smart. I think this was the most important lesson for me. There was a time when I thought using better vocabulary would make my writing better.

But the more I wrote, the more I understood that simple words can carry powerful ideas.

If I have to use a complicated sentence to explain a simple thought, maybe the thought itself isn't clear enough yet. So I started choosing words that I would normally use while talking.

Instead of trying to impress the reader, I try to make the reader feel that I am sitting beside them and explaining something. That makes my writing feel more natural. And strangely, it also makes me feel more confident.

What I Do Now

Today, whenever I have something to express, I try to follow a simple process.

First, I understand what I actually want to say.
Then I imagine the person receiving my message.
After that, I remove the unnecessary parts.
If the idea is difficult, I try to explain it in a different way instead of assuming the reader didn't understand.
And while writing, I don't try to sound perfect.
I try to sound like myself.
I am still learning this.

There are days when my writing becomes complicated again. There are days when I write too much. There are days when I know what I want to say but still struggle to express it.

But now I don't immediately conclude that I am bad at communication. I see it as a signal that I haven't understood or organized my own thought clearly enough.

And that perspective has made a big difference.

I used to think expressing thoughts was about finding the perfect words. Now I think it is more about understanding the thought first. When the thought becomes clear, the words usually become easier.

When I genuinely care about whether another person understands me, my communication becomes more natural. And when I stop trying to sound intelligent, I often communicate more clearly.

I still don't have a perfect formula for expressing myself. Maybe there shouldn't be one. Because communication isn't a performance where I have to remember a list of rules.

It is a connection between two people.

And the better I become at understanding my own thoughts and the person receiving them, the easier it becomes to express what I really mean.

I am slowly learning that I don't need better words first. I need clearer thoughts.

Have you ever struggled to put your thoughts into words? Let me know in the comments. I'd love to learn from your journey. 😊

Looking for your next read? Check out my other posts for more such insights, stories and experiences:

My 9–5 Job Would Leave No Time to Write What I learned about writing consistently after work

What If Writing Is the Key to Better Thinking? I needed better ideas. I actually needed better writing

I Stopped Comparing My Life with Others After Learning This The power of the mind

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