A 2024 Retrospective

A year that turned out to be my favourite as an adult. The year I stopped thinking "Is this all there is to life ?", be grateful for life as-is and feel excited for what's to come or can be. And here are the lessons that I hope to always remember:

1. The secret to happiness is having low expectations

2023 was absolutely the worst year I've ever had. With job and location instability, an 8 year-long relationship that's hit a dead end and conflict with family. Everything was interconnected and it was a shit show on all fronts. I ended my relationship in December 2023 and thought I'll be sucking my thumb for a year. In the end, I enjoyed the year throughly and was very pleasantly surprised.

2. Timelines are social constructs. You're never too old and it's never too late.

With no long-term relationship and the expectation of settling down, I feel younger today than I did a year ago. Physically, my vitals are healthier and I feel stronger too — marked by completing a half marathon and a multi-day hike.

3. You can only plant seeds, things will bloom in their own time and form

I knew about the power of weak ties and have made an effort to meet more people because of it since 2022. Yet, it only paid off in a big way in 2024, when I started my new role, one that I referred to through a game of tennis with my neighbour in 2023. In another story, I had a goal of running 10km in 2023 that I didn't reach, but this year, I finished a half marathon. More often than not, our goals take longer to achieve than we think, so be patient.

4. Stability feeds possibilities, courage and the pursuit of more

A child with secure attachments are more likely to be curious and willing to explore. In my own experience, there's a direct correlation between the stability I feel in my life (e.g. my job is safe, my relationships are healthy) and my energy level to identify and pursue more (e.g. enrol in a course, nurture my hobbies). This is supported by psycology — in survival mode, we have a narrow focus whereas in growth mode, we take a more long term view.

5. Everything compounds. It's not linear nor 1:1, results show up in unexpected ways.

Perhaps it is the education system or salaried employment. We are conditioned to think that if we work hard on something, we will be rewarded on that front. But that's not how life works. Life is random. Something you read today might be come in handy a few years from now. A hobby might lead you to a new opportunity. It's extremely limiting to only do something that has an immediate payoff. So keep show up and let serendipity play out.

6. It helps to trust that the Universe is working for you, not against you

We've all been rejected, faced failure and lamented about it. But for the most part, I am happy to be where I am today and am grateful for the rejection (i.e. redirections). Believing that everything happens for a reason and that it's ultimately to serve you creates optimism. What's wrong with viewing the world with a pair of slightly rose-tinted glasses if it makes us happier :D

7. You built confidence and self trust by keeping the promises you made to yourself

Perhaps the most important lesson of all. As I look at the goals that I set for myself early this year (some I achieved but almost all I made some degree of progress), I feel incredibly proud of myself for the consistent effort that I've put in over course of the year. My self-esteem used to be terribly low and I had more of a victim mindset. Seeing my goals that I wrote in black and white back in January coming through confirmed I can achieve what I set out achieve with consistent effort. It's a very empowering feeling — the feeling that you have some control over life.

One of my favourite quotes is

A year is enough to change your life

Love yourself enough to know that you deserve more

The courage to ask for more

And the discipline to work for more

I carry this close to my heart everyday.

(: