If You Didn’t Go Through These 6 Things, That Person is Probably NOT Your Twin Flame

As a Twin Flame coach I see many clients that have some quite convincing stories that the person they're calling about is their Twin Flame. Then come to find out they're either karmic or a high level soulmate. Here are some big signs to tell if they're your true Twin Flame.

1. Dark Night of the Soul / Ego Death

Many people confuse Dark Night of the Soul (DNOTS) with depression or a really bad break up. This is not that. In all honesty, I've had all three and DNOTS is much worse in my opinion, because it's sudden and abrupt and feels like it's ripping you apart at a quick rate.

I remember when I was distraught over a karmic ex of mine, I was screaming and crying and felt so angry. I wanted to curl in my bed, be mad at the world, and would ask God, "WHY ME?! WHY WON'T HE BE WITH ME?!" Many people think this is what DNOTS feels like.

Just to preface, DNOTS can happen in other stages of our lives, sometimes after a break up, the loss of a loved one, a traumatic event, etc. But on a Twin Flame Journey (TFJ), DNOTS doesn't make sense to the logical mind. It happens pretty much when you least expect it and at this point you don't even know you're on a TFJ, because you usually hear about the term "Twin Flames" shortly after the peak of your DNOTS.

On the TFJ, you'll be in the middle of a love bubble phase that on average lasts somewhere between 4–8 weeks sometimes up to 3 months (I know it varies from person to person). Then suddenly you feel them pulling away.

That's when you feel a soul shock as if something is about to be ripped from you, but your mind can't make sense of what's going on, because logically you know that you barely know this person. There's just no way you're feeling heartbroken, having panic attacks, crying for no reason, having insomnia, no appetite, and sudden intrusive suicidal thoughts over someone you barely know. There's just no way. Yes those are all symptoms / signs you're going through DNOTS.

It happens and your MIND knows it doesn't make sense. However, your SOUL knows what's happening and that's why it feels crushed because their counterpart is about to leave in the physical and they were excited to be "home" and merge with their other half. However, your higher selves also know this has to happen so you can go off into separation to heal what is necessary to have a Divine union.

Your ego death occurs due to the DNOTS, which is basically making you shed things that no longer serve you. Your ego starts to get a reality check and you no longer want do certain things that you did before due to social conditioning, and you start to see the world differently.

Most people stop social media for a while or start to see they don't want to post unnecessary content for validation anymore. That was a big one for me. You may suddenly want to stop drinking or stop unhealthy habits, not want to socialize like before, have sudden wake up calls about where your life is headed and want to make some changes.

And no, DNOTS is not just one night. It can last for weeks or months, but the absolute worst part of it is about 2 weeks on average.

_DNOTS IS NOT TO BE TAKEN LIGHTLY. IF YOU HAVE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, PLEASE SEEK PROFESSIONAL HELP IMMEDIATELY._**

2. Spiritual Awakening / A Desire For Getting Closer to God & Healing

Because of your DNOTS & ego death, you'll feel this desire to get help, healing, and seek guidance in all possible ways, especially to help you with the obsessive thoughts you have about this person. Let's face it, the more you try to move on, the more THEY WON'T GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD. It becomes too much and you want to become sane again, so you start to seek help through therapy, meditation, reiki practitioners, yoga, church, and healers of all kinds.

You realize therapists aren't really helping because you feel they'll think you're crazy once you've realized you're on a Twin Flame journey. Therefore, you start to seek spiritual guidance. You then automatically feel called to start meditating and helping yourself.

Two weeks after I went thru my DNOTS, I went to a local spiritual healer and I automatically wanted to start meditating again without him telling me to and I started doing reiki on myself daily which I hadn't done in over a year or two. It saved me and I started to feel enlightened and closer to God more than ever before in all the years of my spiritual practices and growing up going to church.

You also start to develop strong telepathy and psychic gifts very quickly such as clairvoyance, claircognizance, clairaudience, etc., which is why many Divine Feminines lead the journey spiritually and partake in spiritually based careers that will help people. Not all, but many.

*If you don't feel called to get closer to God and seek spiritual guidance automatically, it's most likely not a Twin Flame. And I don't mean psychics. I went to psychics even when it came to karmics. I'm talking REAL DEEP SPIRITUAL HEALING.

3. Kundalini Awakening

The kundalini is energy that is located at the root chakra (base of the spine) and typically remains "dormant", but when you are being activated energetically / spiritually, the energy starts rising up through your chakras, your masculine (Pingala) and feminine (Ida) energies. When this happens, people have different sensations, but it's usually quite euphoric as it feels sexual and for people that don't know what's happening, it kind of feels like you're being pleased by someone, so sometimes people get scared as to what's happening as this is very new and different and you have no control over it.

Some people say that this is mandatory to have on a TF journey and while I do mostly agree it's a big part of the TFJ, I do have to note that you don't only get a kundalini awakening on this journey. It can happen simply by meditating with certain healing frequencies, but on a TFJ, it typically occurs after you've been activated by them such as locking eyes with them, hearing their voice, touching them, or having intimacy with them.

*Please note, if you haven't interacted with your TF in this way, it's possible you don't get the kundalini awakening, but it doesn't mean you're not a Twin Flame. I have clients that have only had dreams of their TF or only met online for example and have not had such interactions.

Many people think that it is necessary to have sex with them in order to have a kundalini awakening from your Twin Flame since it feels very sexual, but no, it is not necessary. I've never been physically intimate with my TF and I started to feel my kundalini rising for the first time shortly after being activated by him.

I've had multiple kundalini rising sensations and on my most recent one, it happened during a sound healing experience in my yoga teacher training. I was heavily feeling the kundalini rising throughout my back and tingles throughout my body, feeling the energy rise through all of my chakras, and felt a sensation close to having an orgasm. The girl next to me wouldn't stop shaking even after the sound healing was over and I heard sometimes this can last for two days or more.

It showed me that it is in fact NOT only experienced on a Twin Flame Journey, but it is extremely common to feel this on the TF journey because we do feel such a sexual connection with our counterpart and such a deep soul connection.

4. Separation

Twin Flames HAVE to go through separation. This is one of the biggest signs. I know we can have separation with karmics as well as they come in and out of our lives and I'm not talking about 3 weeks - 1 month at a time for example. I'm talking about many months at a time and sometimes even up to a year or multiple years.

I've had multiple people tell me they've never had a separation but have had many TF signs or that their separation was quite short. This is where I would typically put them in the High-Level Soulmate category if we're putting people in boxes that is. High-Level Soulmates can have MANY similarities to a Twin Flame due to the telepathy, parallel lives, great sex, synchronicities, and similar tastes that they have, but if the Divine Masculine energetic counterpart didn't run for quite some time shortly after that love bubble phase, but you've had telepathy and other TF signs, that is most likely a High-Level Soulmate, which to be honest, is much more peaceful and easier than a Twin Flame, let's be honest.

Soulmates have a hard time separating because they almost NEED each other to heal. Whereas Twin Flames need to be alone for quite some time to heal at first. They have to learn that self-love on their own and then they can come together and have Divine union and heal together as well.

This is why it takes most twin flames quite some time to come into physical union, because they're treating the connection like a 3D one or a soulmate one because they so desperately want to be with them, but they're not taking the time to heal on their own first seriously.

4. Vivid Dreams and/or Visions

This is a tough one, because I know some people don't dream or don't remember their dreams. However, I know most of my clients and myself all started having very deep dreams about our Twin Flame quite heavily especially when doubting that they are our twin and even early on in the connection. I think I had dreams about my TF the first night we reconnected which is unusual for me so early on. Dreams can actually be very important messages on this journey as we can communicate with one another this way.

However, I know we also have dreams about karmics and soulmates so this is where it can be tricky. I am a very vivid dreamer so I've dreamt about probably EVERYONE I know including people I've never met.

I used to dream about my karmic that I thought was the one for me at one point, and I'd often dream of him telling me he loved me after we ended things. It was probably because it was what I always wanted to hear from him, but it was different with him. There was no light, no love, no real emotion. It was like an obligation for him to say it and it was probably closure for me to accept that maybe he did love me in some way, but it was time to let him go. My ex recently told me he had a dream I was pregnant with his child and I thought to myself "hell to the no that is not happening!" so sometimes dreams can be people's desires, fears, or subconscious mind and not actual messages.

When it comes to my Twin Flame, the dreams usually feel prophetic. He's always so happy to see me. I could literally FEEL him in my dreams. We've hugged and I could feel his energy around me being so warm or if we'd kiss, I could feel the stubble on his face when touching his face with my finger tips. It's out of this world, and I'd wake up either crying tears of joy or smiling every time after seeing him in my dreams.

Lost loved ones can also appear in dreams with your TF to bring messages. I've dreamt of my TF's grandfather surrounded in white light and I know several of my clients have also dreamt of their Twin Flame's loved ones that have crossed over, because a lot of times, these family members that cross over actually become guides for us on our journey. That was what I confirmed for my situation in an Akashic record reading. Thanks gramps for helping us out! 🙏🏼😇

At times, my TF would even come to me with a message in a dream when I had a question for him telepathically. He'd answer me in my dreams because Twin Flames are in fact so connected telepathically.

While yes, you are connected to high level soulmates and friends telepathically as well, it's much deeper with your Twin Flame.

You will also start to have visions of them and communicate telepathically. Again, this can happen with soulmates, so please take the other signs into consideration, but know that it is always much stronger with Twin Flames.

5. Your Creativity / Passions Start to Flourish

During or after your Dark Night of the Soul, along with your spiritual awakening, you feel this urge to follow your creative pursuits. You feel pushed to do what your soul craves and you listen to your soul's calling in everything.

You may start writing, journaling, making valuable content, helping people in different ways, crafting, doing music, etc. Whatever it may be, you start finding your passions and you pursue them, because your Twin Flame pushes you to become your best and most authentic self.

You don't necessarily realize your Twin Flame is doing this, but it's after meeting your Twin Flame that you feel inspired to become your best self and you start living more authentically through your creativity.

When people meet their karmics, the opposite effect happens. They keep spiralling downwards and don't know where they're going in life. I was like that for most of my marriage. I'd try to get into various different things I wanted to do, but never stuck to them, and I'd feel unhappy, drained, and unmotivated.

When it came to my Twin Flame, everything started to flow and came to me so quickly. I started writing endlessly online and then created an Instagram account a few months later on spirituality, because I heard my guides loud and clear telling me to do so, and then I started making content on Twin Flames, because I knew in my soul that was my calling.

Twin Flames typically have a mission here on Earth and they will usually know what it is shortly after being activated / awakened. Sometimes, their mission is with their Twin Flame. Other times, it's their own mission.

6. You Have Absolute Unconditional Love For Them

Granted I know we can have unconditional love for many people, especially after feeling oneness with the world, but the unconditional love we have for our Twin Flame is quite unique. It's not possessive. There is no resentment for our twin. Of course we (our ego) can feel hurt by their actions such as them ghosting, blocking, ignoring, etc., but you know deep in your soul you can't be upset with them.

It's not to say you will or should allow breadcrumbs. That's what this journey eventually teaches you; to know your worth, set boundaries, and not tolerate anything less than you deserve. However, you have so much compassion for them in a way you've never felt before.

You want to nurture them and take care of them almost like a mother for a child but on ALL levels; physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and sexually.

Because you can't be angry with them, you won't ever have resentment towards them and if you do, they're either not your Twin Flame or you have a lot of healing to do. I know people that have cussed their supposed TF out, have called them many names and yelled at them in ugly ways. However, I knew that was not their TF and they were merely a catalyst to their healing.

When you love your Twin unconditionally, it doesn't mean you let them take you for granted, but you have compassion for them because you know they struggle just like you have and you love them no matter what. You also want them to be happy no matter what.

This journey isn't easy, but it is a beautiful journey and I am forever grateful for it, for how much I've grown because of it. Thank you Sunshine for awakening me to heal and become my truest self. 💋

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