Most times, I am home all day because I work from home. There are days I have to go out, to church a few times a week perhaps, but I am mostly indoors. But that isn't the core of the matter. The matter is this: I pull on my hair. I do it because I am a generally restless person; when I am not actively doing something, that energy finds expression in my hands. If you know, you know.

To an outsider, it appears to be a bad habit. But my question is: why? I am at home; I should be comfortable, right? In reflecting on this, I realized something disconcerting: we are all under the crushing weight of the expectation to be "perfect."

The problem is that "perfect" is a status reserved for God alone. As humans, the best we can do is "strive toward perfection." Yet, we constantly judge others based on warped views of how we expect them to present themselves. We aren't being our true selves either, but we excuse our own flaws by thinking they are "manageable" or "minimal." We forget that our "minor" flaw might be terribly disconcerting to someone else. It is selective criticism, a condition in which we focus our lens outward, never inward. It's why some parents assume their children can do no wrong, but that is a topic for another day.

I noticed something else. When I prepare to go out, I "make myself up." I don't mean foundation or mascara; I mean I bathe, groom my hair, use perfume, and the rest. I also realized that, perhaps subconsciously, I don't pull my hair in public. Maybe it's because I think people would condemn it, or for whatever other reason, I don't know, but it is largely subconscious. You get my point. Aside from the physical appearance, we tend to put forth only the "best" version of ourselves in public. We smile, we do the small talk, and we stay silent when someone says something outrightly dumb, all for fear of causing offense.

Do I mean we should be rude or act like asses? Definitely not. But can we stop being so performative? Can we learn to be better people rather than just putting on a face for the world? Can we be genuinely empathetic? Can we stop going home to regale our families with the sordid details of someone else's private life for sport? We will always talk about life with our inner circle, sure, but it shouldn't be from a standpoint of mockery.

It is harder said than done, I know. But can we at least make an attempt?

This is my charge to us: instead of playing at being perfect, let's actually strive to be better humans. Let's lend a hand, pray for people, and step in when we see a need instead of ignoring it. Check on people, not just when they've gone distant, but just for the love of it.

Most people have learned to appear pristine in public only to collapse once they are inside the safety of their own walls. Playing at "perfect" is exactly how people get depressed; it's how they eventually snap. Let's be better, abeg. Be the kind of person someone can talk to without the fear of being judged.

I could get into how some Christians condemn certain "sins" so voraciously that it becomes impossible for those struggling to ask them for help, but again, that's a topic for another day if I'm led. Finally, never assume that the person who is always the "listening ear" doesn't need help. Far from it; they usually need it the most. Sometimes I think it's their own personal struggles that make them such powerful empaths.

This is getting long, so I'll stop here. Cheers to us being better humans on a truly wholesome level.