Self-Doubt

MEMOIR

After a heated exchange with my tyrannical boss, Shelly, I found myself stripped of my role as a telecommunications specialist and banished to the depths of the basement mailroom in the U.S. Department of Prominence.

Surprisingly, an explosion from a mail sack turned out to be a stroke of luck in disguise.

Seizing the opportunity, I boldly requested a new position as a global traveler, a request that was unexpectedly granted. However, I was unprepared for the psychological strain this job would impose on me.

Having never stepped beyond Washington, D.C., the idea of officially representing the U.S. Government overseas was intimidating and filled me with deep-seated self-doubt.

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Word spread quickly that I was awarded this position due to my minor injuries from the explosion.

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After accepting the job, regret began to seep into my mind, but it was far too late to backtrack, especially with the tyrannical Shelly fully aware that I was on the brink of becoming a global traveler. The mere idea of her triumphant grin, delighting in the possibility that I might question my competence in such a prestigious role, was intolerable, if she thought I decided to rescind the job offer.

Moreover, I certainly didn't want to disappoint the enigmatic deputy secretary of the Department of Prominence, who had offered me this opportunity under such peculiar circumstances. I could only imagine that he would be keeping a close watch on my every move.

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I was anxious about the position and my ability to handle its responsibilities.

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Jealousy was rampant when I received my new job reassignment! I learned that a woman in a high-ranking position was against my transition to a global traveler. A secretary, employed by another senior official, disclosed the resentment aimed at me for securing a prestigious role that is usually occupied by Caucasians with advanced degrees, while I had no associate degree at that time. Moreover, my colleagues in the mailroom often made biting remarks about my new role. This only intensified my self-doubt as I became increasingly aware of the animosity directed toward me!

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Caught in this strange new reality of becoming a global traveler, the idea of escaping this obligation felt entirely beyond my grasp.

I was terrified!

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Shifting my mindset from viewing myself as a renowned global traveler to a "high-class postal mail carrier" instead of a government official helped soothe my self-doubt. This change in perspective brought relief, at least until the training started!