The Bugs I Hate

Mosquitoes kill more people than any other animal. People might fear bears, tigers, or other beasts, but mosquitoes do the damage. We know that.

I spent time every childhood summer in the Minnesota woods, and mosquitoes were fierce. We learned to wear long-sleeved shirts and pants tucked into socks, and to spray ourselves with Deep Woods mosquito repellent. I remember one excursion to pick wild blueberries, and we had to give up before the pails were full because the mosquitoes were so thick.

The land of 10,000 lakes, as Minnesota calls itself, is the land of mosquitoes — all that still water. I bought an off-the-grid cabin in the driftless area of southern Minnesota, where, for some reason, there are no mosquitoes. People said the limestone caves have something to do with it. I think it's fewer lakes and still water.

**Beautiful pictures often don't carry a bug rating. They should. **Bugs can ruin any trip.

I loved, as do many people, being out on a lake in a boat and the easy solitude that comes with fishing. The deer flies, however, are hungry and can chomp chunks of your flesh, leaving little bloody circles. Bug spray or stick roll-on was always hiding in our tackle boxes.

When I moved to New York City, I learned all about cockroaches. Even on the upper levels of the World Trade Center, we saw cockroaches—I figure they got a free ride in the boxes carried up. I bought cockroach motels, basically kitchen matchbox-sized boxes where "cockroaches check in, but don't check out."

Sticky paper is an old-fashioned way to catch bugs, and it's still popular in cockroach motels and other devices. Along with remedies like baking soda and flour sprinkled around cracks, it barely made a dent. For amusement, about once a month, I'd sit in the dark, turn on the oven, and smack the cockroaches that ran out.

Oregon's moving water

Now that I live in Portland, Oregon, most of the water runs off the mountains or along riverbanks and is moving. I love the fact that I don't have mosquitoes to contend with. The fleas do come out in the heat of the summer months, however, and even though my cat does not go outside, the fleas find their way in, and it's a battle, along with the little ants that make a trail into my bathroom. But all things considered, the bugs aren't much.

It's not like a vacation in Florida where Palmetto bugs dropped from the shower head to my screams.

It's the insect rating we need.

August Prompts I'm all out of appropriate adjectives