If Loving Me Means Letting Go, Then I Wish You Loved Me Less

https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=gyAlICIHUdU&si=lMIK1AspTj2A5-89

Sometimes I think that if this was always how it was going to end, then you should've never been that kind to me. You should've never made me feel at home in your presence. You should've never made me believe that being understood could feel so effortless. You should've never let your name quietly settle into every corner of my days. Because now, even the smallest notification makes my heart hope it's you.

I know we never promised each other anything. But feelings are strange like that. They grow from meaningless conversations and stupid little jokes. And before I knew it, you became the place where all my thoughts wanted to go. Funny how the most painful homes are often the ones we were never meant to keep.

And the worst part is, I can't even hate you. Because you didn't arrive like a storm that ruined everything. You came like a tiny light to someone who had spent too long living in the dark. Like a firefly to someone lost in the middle of nowhere, where even the smallest glow feels like salvation. And foolishly, I thought that light was meant to __stay.

If Loving Me Means Letting Go, Then I Wish You Loved Me Less.

You should've never loved me like that. You should've never remembered the little things about me as if you planned on staying. You should've never made me feel chosen if one day I'd have to learn how to live without you. You should've never made me believe I had finally found somewhere safe to rest. Because people like me mistake tenderness for ****forever.

Do you know what hurts the most?Not**** that you left. But that you became the only light in a darkness I had already learned to survive. And then one day, you disappeared so quietly that my eyes, already spoiled by your light, forgot how to love the dark again. Now, the loneliness I once knew feels colder than it ever did before.

Maybe that's why I wish you had been a little colder. A little more ordinary. A little easier to forget. Because if you hadn't loved me so beautifully, maybe I wouldn't have loved you this deeply. And maybe I wouldn't still be mourning something that never truly belonged to me.

Because now I feel like someone who saw the moon after spending a lifetime without a sky. And after knowing your light, I don't know how to make peace with the darkness that used to feel familiar.

It turns out losing a light hurts far more than never finding one at all. And honestly, I still don't know which hurts more. Losing you, or knowing how happy I once was because of you. Because somehow, the person who made me believe I would never be lost again, became the person who taught me how to walk through the dark by myself. And maybe that's what love does. It leaves quietly, but leaves enough light behind to haunt you forever.