At the Top, You Have to Be Infallible

For four years, I managed a team of highly educated IT professionals, earning the highest employee satisfaction scores in our division. But when upper management pushed me out for "insubordination," I suddenly found myself alone.

It's just one example of what happens to us.

Later, when I confessed during a coaching session that I, too, struggled with insecurity from time to time, the coachee looked at me with doubt in their eyes — as if wondering: Can this coach even help me?

We are expected to be strong. Especially when you're leading, mentoring, or even just being a parent to your children.

And let's be honest: how do we judge others when they show weakness? Do we really want to follow people who occasionally fail?

So, what do we do when we reach top positions? Exactly. We hide our weaknesses. We play the part of the artist who only knows success. We save our tears for the dressing room. For when we are alone.

And make no mistake, you are alone.

Of course, you could just not give a damn. But then the top is no longer an option for you. Sure, you'll be free and authentic, but you just won't fit into the societal mold anymore. Society only grants you a spot at the top as long as you fit the perfect image. Step out of line with a reporter just once, and it could mean the end of your career. A weakness will stick to you forever.

The exhausting part is that you can't remain honest and true to yourself. It starts to grate. It grates more and more over time.

When you finally do get cast aside, find your freedom, and start becoming yourself again, you realize that society is really just one big puppet show. People walk around with hand puppets, letting them do the talking. The puppets say exactly what the other puppets want to hear.

There is only one thing worse: people who allow others to control their puppets.

But let me not make this too heavy; this article doesn't fit into the mainstream of preferred prose anyway. I could give more examples. I could try to take a more positive angle. I could use fancier words and quote successful executives.

But why would I put that puppet back on?

Let me simply ask about your experience instead. Have you ever fallen from the top? And how do you judge others when they show vulnerability?

At the very least, give it some thought.