Underbelly

Aside from them being very emotionally guarded with strangers, they protect a very specific part of their body. Their belly. Soft and warm, it is the part where humans reach out to the most, especially if they think of the animal as adorable. It is a sign of affection, yet most of the time, the attempt failed which resulted to an aggressive way of the cat trying to protect itself from any potential harm. It is not without a reason, their belly is undeniably the most vulnerable part of their body. No protection if they let their guard down, the part where most vital organs are. Only a small percentage of beings are allowed to touch that area, like their kittens to nurse on and a person they trust. That is why most cats, in unfamiliar environments are always curled up or having their belly on the ground instead of having it facing towards the sky, making their position alerted and always ready to strike if the situation forced them to.

This similar behaviour can also be found in most types of insects. Known with their thick exterior, they are protected; but only on the surface layer. Take beetles as an example, if a beetle is flipped upside down; they are exposed of their abdomen area, and if they cannot go back to their legs, the area is free for any predators to feast on to. That specific area is soft and light; unlike their backs which are always guarded with their wings and endoskeleton.

Abdomens, or bellies (as we are going to call them in this essay) are a part of multi-celled animals, including humans. It protects the organs that are required in order to make them alive. The organs have their own functions; stomach to break down the substances we consume, the intestines to absorb the necessary component of the food, kidney to filtrate toxins and much more. Bellies not only consist of these organs, they are also layered with skin, muscles and visceral fat which makes the specific parts of our bodies elaborate and quite complex. It's a part of animals in their most natural form where they take, process and excrete. Bellies are often the portrayal of how a human feel about themselves. If a person feels uncomfortable of showing their skin; specifically their torso, they would hesitate to wear clothing that ends before their torso begins, or even when they feel like their torso is not shaped as perfect as they wanted it to be, they would cover it up. As a matter of fact, underbellies are a part that we instinctively guard; a part that we guard until we feel safe enough for us to show and the foremost of all, it changes the dynamic entirely.

This leads me to the question of underbellies and vulnerabilities, are they parallel to one another? since both subjects feel entirely similar. The parable that I just showed you is simply a running thought that I had after experiencing a manic episode after months of comparing my true self and my masks (plural), considering that I, myself have been a victim to vulnerability and its shenanigans to 'mess' with people's minds. I have been the type to be open to other people. Some are the right kind of group, and most of the time, they are the wrong clique. The difference derives from how people perceive other's vulnerability. It is very cliché to say that manipulative peers might use you as they please, be it a tactic to mentally control one's being or just to 'have fun' with it and deem them as a weakling. And to show your underbelly towards the wrong group might result into something malicious. The underbelly is wounded, penetrated and injure the visceral, resulting in an ugly, unsightly, gore that we protect so much for others not to see. In this kind of situation then, social suicide is not even an option, it is a burden that we need to carry on our backs and let it be one of the most prominent things that people use to define us.

That portrayal is more than skin — it requires openness and trust, since it explores sensitive and emotional parts of a person's psyche. Once a person is being vulnerable, we are often being stripped of their emotional guard. There are spectrums of their conscience and their emotions, which can be seen as the complexity of human mind and how neurons play their parts. It can elaborate how a person is thinking, how they process events, how they deal with their challenges; how they see the world in general. How people process their pain can derive from person to person. Since it is very unlikely that two people share the same thought on processing the same event (unless they are doctrinized, or perhaps in a very specific scenario, are programmed to react in a certain way). Some might see rejection as an offense, and the others regard it as a space to grow. Most of many people I know show their vulnerability under the premise of trustfulness and aligned frequencies between two people or more. Yet the very idea scares most of the people I know, the fear of imperfections does not necessarily stem only through the pressure of perfection, but also the fear of rejection. To be seen as less than an equal, an outcast that does not fit into the mold of what is socially acceptable. And to them, this is social suicide.

The essence of letting vulnerability out in the wild for us to define ourselves are in line with the concept of humans created very differently from one another. The idea of uniformity has never been the goal of creation whatsoever, we ought to be in touch with our own identity. Yet, to be seen is to be brave of letting everything we protected dearly to be consumed to those who are not (most of the times) of the same kind. Let us agree that the definitive idea of imperfection derives from one another.

Our identity is much more than a façade. It is a spectrum of dynamic factors that each person possesses, including the shell that we use for our protection or the underbelly that we protect in order to stay alive and functioning. Both are a dichotomy. A contradiction that clashes into one another, one is a beautiful outer layer, and one is an unpolished part. Though one thing that we need to notice is that, the latter is not something that we should protect at all times, or something that we need to overly expose. However, even if it is exposed, the wounds heal. As unpretty as it may seem, it adds characteristic to our own demeanour, whether we see it as a sign to protect ourselves even more, or something that differs us from one another. It is what makes us human. It is what makes us a being that others can perceive as multidimensional. Somewhat similar to what a beetle has as their shell or how cats protect themselves by curling up into a ball.

Protecting one's self is good, yet to be in a constant watch all over the time might not be the greatest idea to be seen as humane. Perhaps, little accidents might happen. Perhaps, injuring our underbellies might not result to an instant death, but a little trait or characteristic that polish ourselves to be seen as someone who are not afraid to show just a tad bit of themselves towards the world to see.

Underbellies are not something we should constrain all time, yet it is something we ought to protect and let show just a little, so that others can see, how vulnerably beautiful a person can be.