Nothing and everything

Do you know that feeling of nothingness? Of everything? Simultaneously?

You feel absolutely nothing but also everything, at the same time?

Where you're so anxious you're body is on fire, you're chest feels like an elephant's bed and you're brain hurts?

Where you're so numb nothing matters?

That feeling where you don't know what's wrong and you guilttrip yourself. Hate yourself. Blame yourself.

Then you think about everything you've been through and it makes sense.

But you still carry shame.

"I should be over this."

"I'm weak."

That feeling of doom. Inevitable, terrifying.