Why We Argue With Strangers Instead of Feeling Our Pain Content: I argued with a stranger for forty-five minutes yesterday about healthcare policy. I had sources. But when my best friend called and asked, "How are you?" I just said, "Fine."

I didn't tell him about the three weeks of panic attacks. Or the insomnia. Or that my marriage was struggling and my father's health was getting worse. I just said fine.

I have hundreds of followers who think they know me. I post passionately about climate policy, economic reform, and tech regulation. I hold my own in debates. But none of them know I cry in my car sometimes before work. None of them know about the anxiety medication hidden in my glove compartment.

We live in an era where it is easier to share an impassioned, 500-word thread about wealth inequality with thousands of strangers than it is to look at our partner, or our best friend, and admit, "I am drowning."

Why do we do this? As my therapist pointed out, opinions are about thinking, but this is about feeling. Online, people share resolved struggles. They post the past tense, wrapped up with a neat lesson. We rarely share the messy, ongoing reality of our pain.

We use intellect and digital escapism as a shield. But hiding our emotions behind strong opinions only deepens our emotional isolation. My wake-up call came from my wife. She stood in the doorway while I was arguing online and told me she felt like she was drowning alone while I stared at my phone.

Saying "I'm not okay" for the first time in months broke the spell. When I finally stopped pretending and told the truth — to my wife, my dad, and my friend — I realized something profound. Admitting you are struggling isn't weakness. It is the most universally human thing you can do. And the moment you drop the armor, you give the people around you permission to drop theirs, too.

If you are tired of the performance, there is a way out. Sitting at a real dinner table, looking the people you love in the eye, and sharing the messy parts of life is uncomfortable. It is much harder than debating strangers. But it is real.

Read the full article: https://haydervoice.com/how-to-stop-hiding-emotions/