I never say the big words.
They sit at the edge of my tongue,
But I let them fall back down
Like shy raindrops
Scared of touching the ground.
So instead,
I notice small things.
The way your eyes soften
When you talk about simple dreams.
The way your voice changes
When you are tired
But still trying to be strong.
When you walk into a room,
It doesn't become brighter
It becomes calmer.
And I don't know how to explain
How rare that is.
Some days I tell myself,
"Don't feel too much."
Because feelings are risky.
Because people leave.
Because everyone is replaceable
Like old songs in a playlist
Slowly getting skipped
When new favorites arrive.
Maybe one day
I will be that song too.
Still there…
But not played anymore.
Not because it was bad,
Just because something else
Came along.
And I will understand.
I always understand.
But right now…
When you laugh at something small
And look at me
Like I belong in that moment,
My heart does this quiet thing
Like it is building a home
Without telling anyone.
I don't want to cage this feeling
By naming it.
Big words make things fragile.
And I would rather keep this
Soft.
Breathing.
Alive.
If someday I become
Just another chapter
You once flipped through,
I hope I was at least
A peaceful one.
A page that felt warm
On a lonely night.
I won't say the words.
Maybe I never will.
But if you ever notice
That I never skip your name
In the playlist of my days
That I replay your smile
More than I should
That is where everything
I cannot say
Quietly lives.