I do not have issues with young people of this generation, but I sincerely worry about them. They hardly take advice. My late mother used to say an adage in our dialect which means, "What an adult sees while sitting, a child cannot see even while standing." Sincerely, I weep for this generation, and even for the next ones to come.

I know it may get to a point where reading my blog becomes boring to some of them. They may call me old and bitter, old-fashioned, or probably sad and helpless. But before we get there, pause for a moment and reflect.

My blog is based on my personal experiences, but for the sake of the young ladies reading from me, I would like you to understand that becoming a great woman takes a lot of sacrifice, and some of those sacrifices may not sit well with you. But if you want your future to be proud of your today, then you need to sit tight and embrace every lesson you learn from life, and even from reading me.

By God's grace, I am in the university as an adult, I have a younger brother who I have groomed under my care for the past four years now. I have young people who are my friends, sisters from another mother, and some who even call me their mother because of who I am and how I present myself. Trust me, I am grateful for the relationships we share, but many times I am careful.

You know why?

I am the elder sister who will scold you with caution, embrace you when you are wrong, and still play with you like your age mate. There is room for tiny insults, playful mockery, and even correction from them when I am wrong, because obviously I may not always be right. There is always room for adjustment. We respect ourselves.

Young people today especially ladies want to fall in love too quickly. They are so desperate for the opposite sex. Of course, I was once there too. Years ago, I was curious to experience what it felt like to explore everything at once.

Today, you tell a young girl to calm down and focus on building her future, and the next thing you hear is, "I need a man," as though a man is the light, the motivation, or the hunger for success. I do not blame you for wanting affection and care, but ask yourself... "is it really the best time?"

Many of us are easily distracted by vain things. It takes the grace of God and discipline to groom our minds.

Years ago, if I had the privileges and guidance some of you have today, my life goals would have gone much farther by now.

Before I continue, I want to appreciate you for sticking with me, supporting my growth, reading my blogs, subscribing, and following me. It means a lot to me. You are part of the reason I keep writing.

I finished secondary school at 15 and left home at 16. At that time, my father had lost his job, my mother was not working, and we were poor. But I was an ambitious young girl. I did not want to remain in the village. I had never been a village girl, and I guess that has affected me till today.

I wanted to come into town, explore life, go to school, work, make money, and make my parents proud. You know those childhood dreams you carry and cannot wait to explore? That was me.

My father was not a man who liked depending on people, so when I suggested coming to Uyo to stay with his cousin from his maternal side, he disagreed at first. He wanted me to return to Port Harcourt where I was raised and stay with my maternal family. But in my young mind, I did not want Port Harcourt. I had been there all my life. I wanted to experience a new town and a new family.

My mother supported me, and eventually my father agreed, even though he was not fully convinced.

So there I was in Uyo, hoping for a better life, hoping to be loved and cared for by a new family. My mother had pampered me so much that I thought everyone would treat me that way, but I was wrong.

I came to Uyo with my cousin from my paternal family. We were always together, but she was stronger than I was. I was a timid little girl, not bold, and not strong at heart, maybe because I was not raised in the village like them. Everything they had strength in was what I could not even understand.

I was welcomed for a week, pampered, and well cared for. But after that first week, my aunt's true character began to show.

I desperately wanted to work. I wanted to earn a salary and fend for myself because I began to see hell in my aunt's house. My aunt had four sons, all grown men by the time I started living there, and I thought that meant safety. But in the middle of the maltreatment and endurance in that house, I almost got raped by one of her son's friends, who was an adult.

It got to a point where I could not bear the stalking and harassment from that man anymore, so I ran to a friend's place. I met her near the place where I worked as a salesgirl back then, and we became close.

The day I left my aunt's house, I lied that I was returning to my father's house. I had already informed my parents about everything. My aunt ridiculed me, called me names, and maltreated me at every opportunity. Her behaviour gave birth to many betrayals I later experienced from my cousin — the same one I came to Uyo with. It felt like a joint force against me. My aunt and cousin completely ganged up against me. I could not bear it any longer, so I lied just to escape my misery.

I stayed with my friend for over a year. Let's call her Emem. She was much older than me, but she accommodated me. My parents knew where I was, so they knew I was safe. What separated us was that she later left Uyo to continue her work in Port Harcourt. She was a hairstylist, and she was the first person outside my family to show me genuine care and love me differently.

After Emem, I stayed with different friends because I could not afford my own house. Some of the women I worked for were simply bosses — not helpers, not women concerned about my wellbeing. Though later I met some good bosses, but before then I worked for women who cared less.

I once had a boss who said she would adopt me as her daughter and give me a place in her house to stay. The agreement was that she would meet my parents so they would know where I was and who I was living with. But she kept fixing dates and postponing them. Some days she would drive me around Uyo after giving me hope that we were going to see my parents, only for us never to go. She promised to put me through school, but she never did. Her words kept forming and breaking.

I struggled as a teenage girl with no direction and very little guidance from adults. The only thing that kept me sane was the fact that I hated seeing my mother cry. So every time I felt like going astray — because I thought about shortcuts too, I thought about ways to overcome poverty, and I carried so many responsibilities in my young mind — and you know the world is always ready to lure a young soul in; I remembered the family I came from and the fact that I never wanted my mother to cry because of me.

I remember a time when I traveled to Lagos for a job. I stayed with my friend's sister in Ajangbadi. I only told my mother where I was. And you know one thing about being the only daughter — your parents never want you too far away from them. My mother knew I would be safe, but she worried my father would find out. He eventually did, and it became a serious issue in the house. He kept accusing my mother of enabling me and allowing me to make big decisions, even to the extent of crossing into another state.

Because I loved my mother, I could not be the reason she lost peace in her home. So I had to rush back, abandoning the job and everything.

My late mother suffered so much in my father's household, and adding to her pain was something I knew I would never forgive myself for.

I advised myself. I cried myself to sleep many nights. I embraced my mistakes and learned from them.

That was how I navigated my teenage years, with the help of a few good women God later placed in my path.

It was not easy. It was not rosy. Even now, I feel a shiver as I write this down.

The reason I am sharing this story is because I see many young people today abusing privileges and opportunities. They do not want to work. They find it difficult to build genuine relationships. They just want to jump into success without embracing sacrifice.

And sincerely, I weep for them.

I worry about them.

Sometimes I feel life is not balanced, and honestly, it is true. Some people waste the opportunities others are praying for. The younger generation is often unwilling to put in the work. Everyone wants comfort, but life does not work that way.

Do not forget that life is never perfect. Even those at the top have their own battles. And even though I may sound strong in my stories, do not forget that I too have made many mistakes. The difference is that I am not someone who bends because of one mistake. I keep learning. I keep growing. I keep falling. And I keep standing again.

I hope you meditate on this and help yourself, dear young soul.