Nobody Cares About YOUR Stupid Story

Who doesn't like technology? It's a beautiful thing, right? Never before have we had so much access to information, been able to connect instantly and restructure our careers to suit our lifestyles. The online world was a Godsend during the global pandemic. It allowed friends and family to stay in touch from all corners of the planet and made it possible for many of us to work from the comfort of our homes. It's hard to imagine what that time might have been like without a solid WiFi connection. Ew. I shudder to think.

But with "connection" being the operative word… are we? Sure, we may have hundreds, even thousands, of online "friends," but are they really the people we can call at 3 a.m. when we've just been dumped and need to cry into a beer with someone? And are you going to help one of those online buds move on that sunny May long weekend instead of going windsurfing with your actual bestie? How about looking after that "friend's" two-year-old kid so they can go to that super important job interview next Tuesday?

I may sound cynical, but I'm not really; I'm just pondering. And it isn't all bad. I formed some precious connections when I had an Instagram account, and some of the online communities I used to be part of were hugely supportive of writers.

But online, everybody is shouting, and no one is listening. And no one gives a fat rat's ass about your content. (Unless you've got something super-cool to write about, like you made out with Scarlet Johannsen in the twelfth grade or did something super cringy like eating a human foot on a dare.)

You may think people are engaging with your content; they may "clap" or "like" or give you a friendly little thumbs-up emoji, but are they actually reading or caring about anything you have to say? I dunno. My bet is that they are spending more time promoting their own work. And fair enough. I've done "the skim," too, usually when I'm lukewarm about what I'm reading, but mostly because there is just SO MUCH CONTENT to sift through — the stories never stop, and there are only so many reading hours in a day.

And don't even get me started on AI-written essays. They make me want to tear my hair out. Seriously, if I have to read ONE MORE…

• Here's the thing.
• Let that sink in.
• Think about that for a moment.
• The truth is.
• What nobody tells you.
• In this season of life.
• It's not about X. It's about Y.

(God! Cue some ear-splitting Norwegian Death Metal, please.)

I've been here on Medium for a few weeks now. I've put up a lot of stories and had some great back-and-forth chats with other writers. That's been fun. But, not gonna lie, I've also made myself completely mental by checking my stats every five minutes. I guess my inner "I need validation" voice wants to know if I got the story right. If I made people feel something, if I made them laugh, or did they roll their eyes, secretly thinking, "Jeez… this is utter crap. This Carol Anne person better not quit her day job (even though I'm old now, and officially "retired.")

Last night I sat in my comfy chair and read an article by a popular creator about how to be successful on Medium. He claimed people are not going to read your piece unless there's something in it for them, and they aren't going to keep reading unless your words are making them feel good, or inspired, or understood in some way. This is probably true, and it made me stop and think about what kind of writing resonates with me. Yep. It all comes down to the feels. I need to have my emotions charged somehow. It doesn't matter what the article is about, but if the writer is honest and vulnerable and authentic, then I'm in. If they're not trying to be clever or presenting us with "FIVE WAYS TO GUARANTEE YOU'RE GONNA (fill in the blank), and instead are just telling a good story, then I'm in. If they're sharing their worst moment, or a time when they were scared beyond belief, or that day they fucked up big time, I'm also in. Because I've been there, too. We all have. And it's nice to know we're not alone.

When I read a story like that, I usually want to know more about the author. And nine times out of ten, I'm going to leave a note about that great piece I just read. Not because I'm hoping for reciprocal claps or a frivolous "like," but because their words meant something to me, and I am grateful to have read them. And really, isn't that what connection is all about — experiencing meaningful moments with another human?

So, yeah, I have promised myself there will be no more manic checking of my stats. They are going to be what they're going to be. Instead, I am reminding myself why I am here: I enjoy writing and reading stories.

Everybody has got a few good ones of their own, and if you tell yours straight from your heart, I'm not going to give you a gratuitous clap; I'm going to feel like I'm right there with you.