July 30, 2026
Shelter me under your love
I go to the gym. I pick up a book. I commit to a relationship. I build friendship. I sit through counseling sessions.
By hhhaebaragi🌻
And then… what?
At the end of the day, when the night darkens and I lay on the cold bedsheet, I'm left completely alone. And I shrink. Lately, it feels like I keep shrinking, so small that it is almost impossible to keep the awful thoughts from consuming me. I keep turning backward, whispering to myself that I am a coward, that I was never brave enough.
Will I ever be?
In these silent days, my head spirals. Words from the past, and the present, echo like condescending judgments. Just when I think they will diminish my already shrinking self, I realize there is nothing left to break. I feel empty. I am so tired of defending myself, yet I am still not brave enough to act.
I keep looking for a shelter. Searching for the love I never got.
Only to realize that it is an inside job.
I'm trying to rebuild, brick by brick. Thank you for letting me stay close to you. For sheltering me under your love.