How to discover infidelity in marriage?

How To Know If Your Husband or Wife Is Having an Affair

Key takeaways

• Before considering whether your spouse may be unfaithful, ask someone who knows you well and whose insight you trust to evaluate you.
• On the other hand, when time regularly goes missing without reasonable explanation, it might be a clue of hidden behaviors.
• If sufficient doubt exists and there are clues or proof of an affair, the worried spouse needs to express his fears.

That question comes often from wives and husbands across the USA and other parts of the world who fear that their spouse is having an affair and want to know how they can know for sure.

In their hearts, they feel strongly that their spouses are cheating, but their minds waver between conviction and confusion. They do not wish to do damage to their marriages by false accusations of infidelity (and that is a very valid concern with real consequences), but worry that they are being played as fools.

Surfing the Internet for clues of infidelity/cheating/affairs can create more questions than answers.

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

Before considering whether your spouse may be unfaithful, ask someone who knows you well and whose insight you trust to evaluate you.

Specifically, ask your wise friend if she/he considers you insecure, jealous, or frequently anxious. If your friend indicates that you are, carefully consider whether your fears stem from your own inner struggles rather than from your spouse's actions.

Clues Your Spouse Is Having An Affair

On the other hand, when time regularly goes missing without reasonable explanation, it might be a clue of hidden behaviors.

Affairs take time. If your spouse is repeatedly out of contact and offers no sensible explanation or becomes angry when you ask, that may indicate trouble.

Unfortunately, with current technology, time spent with a paramour does not have to be time away from the home or office. Therefore, missing time may not be time away; it may be time spent in the same house with you or coworkers, but private enough to facilitate communication with someone else.

Affairs typically are expensive. When a person becomes emotionally involved with another, often times money is spent. Gifts, meals together, hotel rooms, and more add up quickly.

Because most affairs involve emotional connection to another person, a spouse having an affair typically reduces emotional closeness with the spouse.

Early in an emotional involvement with another, a husband or wife may increase emotional interaction with his or her mate for a couple reasons. One is that the new involvement intensifies all emotions. The other is guilt. However, as emotional bonding with the lover increases, the straying spouse usually begins to distance himself/herself from their spouse. Hugs, kisses, tender phrases, and comfortable conversations taper off. Lovemaking decreases and may cease altogether.

While there may be other causes for missing emotional connection than infidelity, any dramatic reduction needs examination. The lessening may not happen rapidly. Therefore, sometimes a person does not realize it while it happens, but eventually becomes aware.

Living in doubt is destructive. Truth sets one free. The method for learning the truth can make the difference in saving the marriage or ending it forever.

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