Day 1 / 151 as an intern (not official)

When people often say "don't tell them about your next move," that is exactly what I unconsciously did. Most of my acquaintances from high school were surprised to find out I was pursuing IT in college. Their main reason? "You don't look like an IT student because the vibe you give off shouts more of a medical student." Hearing this over and over again doesn't offend me; rather, it makes me laugh. It kinda made me bit proud of myself, choosing a college program most people would never expect me to take. It feels like a confirmation that I am truly in control of my own life.

Lately, I've been reflecting on my journey since entering the university. Three years into this program, and I am still figuring things out — thinking about what to do after graduation, wondering what career path to take, and trying to find answers to my unending questions. Sometimes, I even doubt whether I'll really be able to finish what I started.

During summer breaks, I would spend time planning and researching possible fields in IT that I might like and want to focus on. One day, I wrote a dedicated checklist, which included: "Make your own website portfolio." in preparation for future employments or job searching. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to take the first step in building that project until an opportunity finally came along.

Just a few weeks ago, we received a message from a classmate about an internship opportunity. Although it wasn't officially credited by the university as part of our third-year requirements, we knew it was a great offer.

I was hesitant at first because of my fears and insecurities. I know I am not that confident in my skills yet, but I grabbed it anyway. As the saying goes, "When opportunity knocks on your door, welcome it."

And today marks the start of our 5-month internship. We just had a meeting with our mentor. Together with my girlies (my circle), we confirmed that we will be creating a website for our portfolio, and tonight's very first session was on "how to deploy a website."

It is like an answered prayer. Maybe this is really where I am meant to be. Maybe this is really where God wants me to be. Maybe this is really it. Maybe… just maybe, I'll become a good programmer or developer someday.

Maybe someday I'll make it…

After the meeting, I was practicing what our mentor had just taught us while simultaneously checking my circle's group chat. I saw their progress and how fast they were able to successfully deploy their test websites. Meanwhile, I was still trying to figure out why my deployment failed on the first try. I felt a bit behind and, internally, a bit stupid, wondering what I did wrong during the configuration.

But indeed, mistakes teach you best. After a few more minutes, I figured out that my username was the issue. I tried renaming it, but it still wasn't working. So, I restarted the steps from the beginning, and thank heavens, it worked! Sometimes, starting over is the best way to make things work.

Of course, it's no big deal to those who already know how to do it. But for someone like me, it brings a different kind of joy to see my project working exactly as expected.

I used a template our mentor already provided. Only used internal CSS to make life easier since this is for testing purposes.

Realizations:

People have their own timelines. You may sometimes feel behind but you are still going to get there. Learning to be patient with ourselves is a continues process. Keep going.

If you have faith, and if you will… you can.

Life is a mystery, yet somehow… things are slowly unfolding. With a grateful heart and an eager mind, I look forward to what's yet to come.