"You go to therapy?"

My friend looked at me, confused, waiting for me to explain myself when I said I had a therapist.

The judgment was palpable, like I had somehow failed as a human by seeking therapy. But underneath that judgment was shock. How could I, a seemingly stable person, possibly need therapy?

The truth is, we could all benefit from therapy. I wish I had started sooner, not because I was broken or mentally unwell, but because life is a lot. We all need a space to process our feelings.

I've spent much of my life being the strong one. Never cry in front of other people. Always smile and say "fine" when asked how I'm doing. If your feelings are anything but positive, keep it to yourself — you don't want to be a burden.

I used to get frustrated when friends didn't check on me. In my weakest moments, I sat at home and cried, then put on a happy face and went back to my day. No wonder no one checked on me; I appeared strong.

But sometimes being the strong one can carry the biggest burden. I sit through other people's problems and listen. I have no issue with that; that's what friendship is.

But at some point, I only have enough space for others and need to make space for myself. And that's where the burden is — carrying so much weight for others that you have no strength left for yourself.

I remember listening, yet again, to a friend's woes. Then she said those words that dismissed everything I felt, "Well, at least you're…"

The "at leasts" sting. Yes, at least I'm married. At least I'm healthy. At least I'm employed. Does that mean I'm not allowed to hurt? We can have all the things that make us seem okay, but the perception and reality are two different things.

So yeah, I didn't feel comfortable talking about my own struggles because I was made to feel guilty for having feelings. How could I be suffering when everything on the surface was okay? The truth is, I was far from okay.

When I was going through IVF, I was struggling. Did I want support? Yes. Did I ask? Of course not. I'm the strong one. Also, I didn't know how to ask.

When I lost my pregnancy, friends and family members showed up in ways I didn't ask for. And I let them, because it's what I needed. Gifts and hugs and words of support showed up in ways I didn't know existed. Sometimes the best support is the kind you don't ask for.

There was a part of me that thought that I never should've told people that I was pregnant, because then I was obliged to tell them I no longer was. We all love sharing good news, such as a pregnancy, but no one wants to share the bad news.

But I never would've had the support I needed if no one knew. And I certainly wouldn't have asked for it.

There's popular quote by Plato: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle."

This is a gentle reminder that we are all carrying a burden. Some of us share it while others hide behind a mask. But no matter how strong we appear, there's something vulnerable underneath.

I'm over being strong. I'm ready to be vulnerable.

Thanks to Bella Smith ⭐ and Promptly Written for the writing prompt!