Break Any Habit With An Accountability Contract

If you've ever tried to break a bad habit or form a new, healthy one, you'll know just how difficult it is to keep it up.

As a gambling addict, I spent years trying to quit gambling before I realised that I was suffering from an illness that needed treatment. As long as I was feeding my addiction in secret, I had no hope of getting my life back.

That all changed when I finally came clean to my loved ones.

The love, support, and compassion that I received all helped me break free from my addiction, but I also benefited from a new yet simple tool: accountability.

Previously, when I relapsed and started gambling again, I was only letting myself down. However, now that I had involved others in my recovery, I was determined not to disappoint them.

In the early stages of my recovery, I struggled with the pain of my financial losses and the urge to gamble again. During this time, an accountability contract kept me on track and motivated to change.

Having used an accountability contract to overcome something as serious as gambling, I am convinced it can be used to overcome any bad habit or form new ones. Here's how…

How to write an accountability contract

I was first introduced to the concept of an accountability contract by my therapist in the early days of my recovery and have since encountered the concepts in books like Atomic Habits by James Clear and The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg.

Essentially, an accountability contract is a voluntary agreement between an individual and an accountability partner, to help them break bad habits or form new, positive ones.

1. Find an accountability partner

The first step is identifying someone you trust—like a partner, parent, or close friend—to be your accountability partner. Their job is to support you and hold you accountable for the actions you outline in the contract.

2. Write down your goals & establish accountability mechanisms

Once you have got them on board, it's time to start drafting the contract. It doesn't have to be anything fancy — you can type it up, handwrite it, or just write it down in your favourite notetaking app. The main thing is that both you and your accountability partners have access to a copy.

In the document, you will formalise your commitment to your goals and establish accountability mechanisms to help you achieve them.

This is how mine looked:

• I promise to stay committed to my recovery and complete abstinence from gambling. I also promise to tell a loved one as soon as I have any temptations to gamble. (Goals)
• I promise to attend weekly group meetings and 1-to-1 therapy sessions. I also agree to have monthly check-ins with my parents to discuss my progress and any issues that have come up in therapy. (Accountability mechanisms)

When it comes to writing your own accountability contract, it's important to be as specific as possible so you can easily measure your progress. For example, if you're trying to get fit, your goal might be to go to the gym four times a week for at least 30 minutes and your accountability mechanism could be finding a gym partner to train with you, or checking in on social media whenever you arrive.

Likewise, if you're trying to reduce smartphone usage, you might set yourself the goal of spending no more than two hours a day on your phone and use an accountability mechanism like setting up time limits for your social media apps in your phone's settings.

Having regular check-ins with your accountability partner is also important to keep you accountable, but also provides an opportunity to celebrate milestones and receive positive reinforcement, which can be a great way to build confidence and motivation to continue — as was the case for me in my recovery.

3. Outline the consequences of not meeting your goals

The next important element of the accountability contract is to outline the consequences you would face should you "break" the contract.

These were mine:

If I break my contract by not taking my recovery seriously and gambling again, I will:

• Lose more money and increase my debt
• Have to face the embarrassment of telling people in my support group that I have relapsed.
• Lose temporary access to my bank account because I cannot be trusted with my money
• Disappoint my loved ones who have given me so much love and support

The biggest deterrent for me was disappointing my loved ones. They had shown me such love and grace when I came to them with my addiction, but I knew their support wasn't unconditional. I needed to prove to them that I was committed to my recovery, for real.

This became one of my biggest motivations to stay on track in my recovery.

Once again, it's up to you to define and agree on these consequences. The main thing is to be specific and make sure that they are enough of a deterrent for you.

For building your fitness habit, a consequence might be that your sporting performance will suffer or you will put on weight. To minimise screen time, you could acknowledge that your relationship with your partner will suffer because you're not as present in the evenings.

Another popular method for motivating yourself is to use money. You take a sum of cash that would hurt to lose and agree to pay it to your accountability partner or donate to charity every time you fail to show up. I haven't used this method myself, but I believe it can be an extremely effective way of motivating yourself.

4. Highlight the positive outcomes of success

Once you've added your consequences, it's time to add some rewards. After all, an accountability contract isn't just about reminding yourself of your potential failures, it's about celebrating the positive outcomes when you achieve your goals and rewarding them.

For example:

• If I stay gamble-free, I will have more disposable income and my loved ones will be proud of me (outcome)
• When I reach one year without, I will buy myself a new golf club (reward)
• When I have paid off all of my debt, I will treat myself to a big holiday (reward)

It's important to acknowledge the positive outcomes and reward yourself when you meet your pre-defined objectives because they reinforce your motivation to continue and give you something to look forward to.

In the case of building a fitness habit, a positive outcome is that you will feel healthier and fitter. By weaning yourself off of your smartphone, your relationships will probably improve and you will have more time to devote to other endeavours. You might reward yourself for achieving your goals by giving yourself the occasional cheat day or buying yourself some new clothes.

5. Ask your accountability partner to make a pledge to you

Now that you have made your pledge, it's up to your accountability partners to do the same.

For some people, a signature from your accountability partner is enough to demonstrate their commitment to helping you. Or, perhaps they also want help to form a new habit and you can reciprocate by being their accountability partner.

In an extreme case like overcoming an addiction, it can be helpful for you to have some form of written commitment from them.

For example:

I promise to love and support you in your recovery and be there whenever you need me. I will check up on you at the defined intervals and also promise to be there for you if you relapse because I don't want you to suffer in silence.

A short text like this may not be necessary for building a fitness habit or reducing screen time, but as I battled with my addiction, it was an important reminder that I wasn't going to be judged or abandoned if I relapsed.

Because let's face it, relapses are a common occurrence and it's important to remember that they don't undo all the hard work in recovery. The point of my accountability contract wasn't to punish me if I failed; it was about putting a psychological barrier between me and the addiction I was trying to break free from.

That's the true power of the accountability contract and why it's such a powerful tool for breaking or building a habit. By formalising your commitment and including others in the process, you are much more likely to achieve your goals and build or break any habit.

Final reflections

Involving others in my recovery process gave me the added motivation, encouragement, and shared responsibility I needed to finally beat my addiction.

It also gave me strength during moments of temptation or doubt. Whenever I felt the urge to gamble creep in, I would look at the contract on my phone and that would remind me of my commitment to my recovery.

Having suffered with my addiction for so long in isolation, I now felt protected by this close support network, which was a big factor in steering me through the first year of recovery.

After nearly three years, I no longer need to look at the accountability contract, but I still check in regularly with my loved ones and remain motivated to stay gamble-free and repay them for the love and support they have given me.

The accountability contract worked wonders for me in breaking a nasty habit — I hope you find it as useful as I did.

If you've had any success using the accountability contract I'd love to hear about it in the comments!

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