October 22, 2022
10 Simple Tweaks For Instant Confidence Around Hot Women
This list of simple behavioral tweaks and mindset changes will help to make you less nervous around your crush.
By Joe Elvin
4 min read
Don't you hate when your friends and family tell you to "just be confident, bro…"
That's great dating advice, but it contains no actionable steps to help you. Confidence isn't a switch you can just turn off and on.
With that said, there are steps you can take to instantly feel more confident around a beautiful woman.
By following the steps below, you should hopefully feel more empowered to approach your crush and speak with her in a confident manner (even if you're secretly terrified).
1. Remember She's Only Human
Many men see their crush as a perfect angel who floats above the rest of humanity. This mindset will intimidate you.
And it's not accurate.
This woman is just another person who burps, farts and wears silly socks at Christmas.
Sometimes she forgets to shave her legs or zip up her jeans.
It might feel strange to picture your crush in these humbling moments, but this can remind you that she's only human.
2. Don't Worry About Impressing Her
The desire to say something 'good enough' makes people run out of things to say. It causes self-doubt which clogs your brain, hampers your creativity and stops you from flowing freely.
This never happens around your friends, family or people you feel as if you don't need to impress.
So, stop worrying about saying something 'good enough' to your crush. Say whatever you feel like saying. When you do this, you'll adopt a free-flowing vibe which will make you look like a super-confident guy.
This is the most important thing. Studies suggest that words only account for 7% of what you communicate, while a massive 93% comes from your body language and your voice tonality.
So, there's no need to stress about the perfect thing to say. Talk about what you want to talk about, not what you think she wants to hear. Let your enthusiasm for these topics rub off on her.
3. Be The Buyer, Not The Seller
When you approach a salesman in a television store, you're doing so to find out if a product is right for you. You're asking questions and they're answering. Most likely, you don't care about impressing the salesman, nor are you praying they'll accept your money.
You should approach women with the same mindset. Don't be sold on them just because they're a pretty face. Approach them with the curiosity to discover if their personality vibes with yours.
4. Forget About The 'Perfect Moment'
The only perfect moment to approach your crush or to ask her out is as soon as possible. There will always be a potential reason why it's not suitable to do that, especially if you're actively looking for it.
When you worry about perfect timing, you'll always hesitate. Perhaps you'll lose your opportunity and some other guy will ask this woman out first. If you act straight away, you'll seize your opportunity while coming across as an assertive go-getter.
So, when you see a woman you want to talk to, count backwards from five and walk towards her before zero. Apologise for interrupting, then keep talking. Ask her on a date during that first encounter, no matter how well it goes.
5. Use "We Should" Not "Do You Want To…?"
This simple change of phrases makes any invite you extend sound far more confident.
6. If You Approach, You Win
Your goal shouldn't be to swap contact details with this woman, land a date or even to make her smile. It should be to talk to her and make your intentions known. If you do that, count it as a win.
Because who else would have the courage to do that?! Not many modern men would. Most guys are only able to land dates from dating apps or after being introduced by a friend.
It's always good to go after what you want in life. Most people who spot you respectfully approaching a woman in public will admire your bravery. So, give yourself props for this too, even if you didn't win her over this time around.
You're in the top 1% of men just for trying.
7. Rejection Is Better Than Not Knowing
If you ask a woman out and she says no, please realize that's better than wimping out and wondering what could have happened.
Might you have married this woman? Could she have been the mother of your children? Now you'll never know.
These thoughts are especially common when it's a woman who you're likely to see again, perhaps in college or at your workplace. Imagine the torment if this woman gets a boyfriend before you get the chance to ask her out next time.
Once you realize that rejection is better than regret, you'll often feel more at peace when approaching your crush, safe in the knowledge that it's the right thing to do (no matter what happens).
8. Realize How Meaningless This Crush Ultimately Is
Think back to your previous crushes and how meaningless they are now. Realize how little that previous rejections hurt you at this moment.
If this woman rejects you, it ultimately doesn't matter. You'll have other crushes in the future. More importantly, there'll be future crushes who like you back!
9. Go Meet Loads Of Other Women
The more you do the thing that scares you, the less nervous you become, the easier it is to do that thing confidently. That's as true of flirting with women, as it is of public speaking or jumping out of a plane.
What's more, you're less likely to be nervous around one particular woman if you already have other romantic options.
10. Read My Free E-Book
I used to be terrified to approach beautiful women — and I know much that feeling sucks!
That's why I wrote my free e-book How To Conquer Social Anxiety to share how I solved this problem. The book is packed with more actionable tips to help you improve your self-esteem and do the things you want to do in life. Click here to download this free e-book now.
And while you're at it, consider subscribing to me on Medium for more essential dating and relationship advice.