The 7 Habits of People Who Actually Follow Jesus

Growing up in the church, I was pretty much taught that a good Christian read the Bible every day, attended church every week, said grace before meals every time, and put money in the offering plate every Sunday. If you really wanted extra credit, you could go on a mission trip or join the worship team.

We had "being a good Christian" down to a checklist. Do the right things, avoid the wrong things, and you're on the right track. It was a black-and-white faith that was easy to measure.

I remember one Sunday when I was about ten, sitting in church next to my friend, whispering and giggling during the sermon (as one does when you're ten and the preacher has been talking for what feels like forever). My mom leaned over and gave me The Look — the kind that promised swift justice the second we got to the car after church. I immediately straightened up, grabbed a Bible from the pew, and opened it to a random page, nodding solemnly as if I were deeply meditating on the Word of God.

Did I understand what I was reading? Not a chance. But I figured God, my mom, and maybe even the pastor would see me with my Bible open and somehow be impressed.

Box checked. Good Christian behavior achieved.

But as I got older, I started to realize that checking all the right boxes didn't necessarily make someone Christlike.

Far from it.

I've met lots of people who never missed a Sunday service but were the quickest to judge others. People who can recite entire passages of scripture but have no patience for the struggling or the broken. People who pray beautiful prayers in public but carry bitterness in private.

So, I began to wonder: what actually makes someone effective as a Christian? I started paying attention to the people who actually embodied Jesus — not just in belief, but in action. And I noticed they had some things in common. Not rules, not religious performance — just ways of being that shaped the way they lived, loved, and walked through the world.

Here are seven habits of highly effective Christians.

1. They Are Slow to Speak

One of my favorite sayings is this: "Even a fool is considered wise until he speaks." I'd like to say I've always lived by this wisdom, but let's be honest — I've talked myself into plenty of regrettable moments.

Jesus took this principle seriously. "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry." (James 1:19). That sounds simple enough, but in a world where everyone has an opinion and a platform to share it, holding your tongue is practically a spiritual discipline.

Highly effective Christians make a habit of pausing before they react. Whether in conversation, online debates, or moments of frustration, they ask themselves: Do I really need to say this? Will this bring peace or just more noise? They know that wisdom isn't about having the best argument — it's about knowing when to speak and when to stay silent.

You won't find a real Christian with a pitchfork in a mob. They are not prone to outrage.

They recognize that anger, while sometimes justified, is rarely productive when it's reactionary. Instead of lashing out, they take a breath. In fact, effective Christians do an awful lot of deep breathing. They step away. They pray. They resist the urge to fight fire with fire. Because they know that just because something feels urgent doesn't mean it's wise.

2. They Are Able to Be Still

Most of us are addicted to motion. We rush from one task to another, constantly filling our schedules, our minds, and our hearts with noise.

Silence, stillness, and waiting feel unnatural.

But Jesus regularly withdrew to quiet places. He stepped away from the crowds, from the demands, from the never-ending needs, and spent time in solitude with God.

"Be still, and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)

Highly effective Christians make stillness a habit. They carve out time for silence, for reflection, for contemplation, for meditation, for being present with God — not just when life slows down (because let's be real, it never does), but as a discipline. They understand that clarity, wisdom, peace, and spiritual growth aren't found in busyness — they're found in stillness.

Being still doesn't mean being passive. It doesn't mean ignoring injustice, avoiding responsibility, or disengaging from life. It means refusing to let the chaos of the world dictate the condition of your soul. It means learning to sit with unanswered questions without scrambling for easy solutions. It means trusting that God is at work, even when we can't see or control what's happening. It means shutting up and getting out of the way from time to time.

3. They Are Not Trying to Prove Themselves

"Beware of practicing your righteousness before others to be seen by them." (Matthew 6:1)

There's a strange paradox in life: the people who are constantly trying to prove themselves often seem the most insecure, while the ones who don't care what others think tend to walk through the world with confidence.

Highly effective Christians make a habit of letting go of the need to impress.

They have mastered what Mark Manson calls "the subtle art of not giving a f*"** — but not in the sense that they're reckless or indifferent, but in the sense that they know what's actually worth caring about. They've stopped wasting energy trying to manage their image, win approval, or make sure people like them. They've even stopped trying to win God's approval.

They don't need to be in the "inner circle" at church, work, or anywhere else. They aren't constantly scanning the room, wondering how they're being perceived. They let that stuff go — because it's exhausting, and it doesn't actually matter.

And where does this security come from?

The only way to truly let go of the need to prove yourself is to have a deep, experiential understanding that you are already fully loved by God. Not just in a "Sunday School answer" kind of way. Not just as a belief you affirm. But in a way that sinks down into your bones and changes how you move through the world.

When you know — really know — that your worth isn't tied to your performance, your achievements, or how others see you, you no longer have to hustle for validation. You no longer have to prove that you belong. You belong because you are already loved.

That kind of love creates freedom.

The healthiest, most Christlike people I've met aren't concerned with how they look to others — not because they don't care about people, but because they don't need to seek approval. They serve quietly. They show up without fanfare. They don't overshare or humblebrag. They don't try to craft an image.

They just live.

4. They Don't Get Into Bed with Power

"My kingdom is not of this world." (John 18:36)

One of the great temptations of every age is to align faith with power — political power, institutional power, cultural power. But Jesus never chased influence. He never cozied up to rulers or sought to control the systems of the world. He didn't rally his followers to take over the government. He didn't legislate morality. He didn't demand that Rome enforce biblical values.

And yet, time and time again, Christians fall into the same trap — believing that if only the right leader is in power, the kingdom of God will advance.

In recent years, Donald Trump has been a test case for this very temptation. Many Christians have traded integrity for influence, believing that securing political victories is more important than embodying the way of Jesus. In their desperation for control, they've bent their faith to fit a leader who thrives on division, cruelty, and power at all costs. The gospel has been twisted into a political weapon, wielded not to bring justice and peace but to win.

As Richard Rohr put it:

"The evangelical support of Trump will be an indictment against its validity as a Christian movement for generations to come."

But highly effective Christians make a habit of choosing integrity over influence. They resist the temptation to bend their faith to fit a party, a politician, or a movement that promises them security. They don't seek to dominate culture or enforce their beliefs through legislation. They understand that Christ's kingdom is not about gaining power — it's about laying it down.

Instead of chasing a seat at the table of power, they do what Jesus did: they love, serve, and speak truth to power, even if it costs them.

Because the kingdom of God has never belonged to the strongmen, the political strategists, or the culture warriors. It has always belonged to the humble, the meek, and the servants.

5. They Work for Justice, Not Just Charity

"The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor… to set the oppressed free." (Luke 4:18)

Many Christians are happy to help the poor — as long as it doesn't require asking hard questions about why people are poor in the first place. They'll donate to a food bank but bristle at discussions about fair wages. They'll sponsor a child overseas but dismiss conversations about racial inequality, economic injustice, or systemic oppression.

For some, social justice is seen as an unwanted distraction from the "real" gospel — as if Jesus came only to get souls into heaven and not to bring justice, healing, and restoration to the world right now. But when Jesus announced his mission, he didn't just talk about personal salvation. He talked about good news for the poor, freedom for the oppressed, and justice for the marginalized. His kingdom wasn't just about where people go after they die — it was about how they live now.

Highly effective Christians make a habit of engaging in justice, not just charity.

They don't just hand out food — they ask why people are hungry. They don't just donate to good causes — they advocate for systemic change. They don't just feel bad about oppression — they work against it.

They refuse to separate faith from justice because they know that the gospel is not just about private morality — it's about making the world look a little more like the kingdom of God.

6. They Treat the Powerful and the Powerless the Same

It's human nature to treat people differently based on status. We tend to show respect to those with influence and overlook those who don't seem important. But Jesus never operated that way.

"Whatever you did for one of the least of these, you did for me." (Matthew 25:40)

Highly effective Christians make a habit of leveling the playing field.

They treat the CEO and the janitor the same way. They don't play favorites. They don't cater to wealth, influence, or popularity. They see the image of God in every person.

And more than that, they seek out the people that others overlook. They build relationships with the outcasts, the lonely, the forgotten. Because they know that if Jesus were walking the earth today, that's exactly where he'd be.

7. They Refuse to Sit in the Judge's Seat

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged." (Matthew 7:1)

Highly effective Christians have developed the habit of seeing people as more than their worst moments. They resist the urge to write people off as irredeemable, and instead, they approach others with humility, knowing that life is complicated, people are messy, and no one is as simple as their worst decision.

Mature people can look at pretty much anyone — even the vilest person — and find some cause for compassion. They understand that no one is born a monster. No one wakes up one day and decides to be broken, cruel, or destructive. The circumstances of our lives, our trauma, our family of origin, and our culture have a huge say in who and what we end up becoming.

That doesn't mean they excuse harm. It doesn't mean they pretend evil doesn't exist. But it does mean they don't sit on a high horse, looking down at the world in judgment. Instead, they look at others the way God looks at them — through the eyes of grace.

This kind of humility keeps them from becoming self-righteous. They don't divide the world into "good people" and "bad people" as if they themselves couldn't have easily ended up in someone else's shoes. They know that given different circumstances, they, too, might have made different choices. So, instead of rushing to condemn, they choose to be curious. Instead of assuming the worst, they choose to listen.

They'd rather be wrong about believing in someone's potential than wrong about writing them off.

The Habits That Matter

It's funny… As a kid, I heard a thousand sermons about how to be a good Christian. Read your Bible. Pray before meals. Don't cuss, drink, or listen to secular music (especially not backward).

If you did all that, you were on the right track to spiritual greatness.

But I never heard a sermon on keeping $20 in your pocket just in case someone needed it. Or on not losing your mind in the comment section on social media. Or on how to take a deep breath instead of rage-texting. Or on how to sit with someone's grief without rushing to fix it. Or on how to apologize without making it about yourself. Or on how to love people you secretly find annoying.

The older I got, the more I realized Jesus never gave us a checklist. He gave us a way of being.

The Christians who actually embody Jesus don't stand out because they've mastered religious performance. They stand out because of how they live, how they love, and how they show up in the world.

They are slow to speak but quick to listen. They know how to be still in a world addicted to noise. They have nothing to prove and no need to impress. They don't sell out their integrity for power. They work for justice, not just charity. They treat the powerful and the powerless the same. And above all? They resist the temptation to sit in judgment over others.

These habits aren't about being a "better Christian." They're about being human the way Jesus was human.

Because, at the end of the day, the goal was never to be a "good Christian." The goal was to be like Christ.

Dan Foster is the author of "Leaving Church, Finding God: Discovering Faith Beyond Organized Religion."

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