How to Give a Powerful Compliment That Resonates

A compliment is one of the most powerful ways to let a friend, colleague, or family member know you value and appreciate them.

It seems simple to give a compliment and say positive words. However, it is surprisingly tricky — no one wants to look like a kiss-up.

Giving compliments is a critical part of cultivating and strengthening relationships. A kind and thoughtful compliment has the power of turning someone's day from a bad one to a good one. A compliment makes another person feel good about themselves and appreciated.

"I can live for two months on a good compliment." — Mark Twain, an American writer

When you get into the habit of giving compliments, it helps you notice and appreciate what's good in your life. You see what you like in others and how you can incorporate their good traits into your life.

Giving compliments is a form of influence. People love to be around positive people. They will likely follow your example of compliments and give them out as well. They will also be more likely to listen to your ideas.

Mastering how to give a compliment is a powerful social skill. It is essential to building great relationships. They promote an atmosphere of positivity. They become social lubricants by increasing the flow of conversations.

A genuine compliment is like magic. It can turn your day around in an instant. It's essential to practice the art behind giving compliments, so you can better recognize them. There are five things you should think about when giving praise.

1. Understand Why

The best place to start is to understand why. Why are you complimenting this person? First, figure out the reason for the compliment.

Don't just compliment for the sake of a compliment or because you felt they should get one. Have a purpose for why you are giving praise. Did the person make something stress-free? Connect the compliment to the action. For example, you can simply say, "you are great at picking restaurants to eat because you really do your homework and know what the group wants."

2. Be Authentic

The key to a good compliment is that it is natural and authentic. Please don't give praise unless you really mean it. People can tell when you are fake with your niceties and compliments.

Your intention needs to be genuine. If your compliments are inauthentic, they will think you are not honest in other areas of your life. A good rule of thumb should be to compliment a person based on their impact on you or a group.

For example, instead of saying, "this was the best party ever." This comes across as less meaningful and superficial. You could rather say, "I love how you welcomed everyone to your house, make introductions of people with common interests, and made everyone feel like it was their home."

"Sincerity is the highest compliment you can pay." — Ralph Waldo Emerson, an American author

3. Talk about Specifics

Details matter, especially when it comes to compliments. Give an example when you are giving praise. A context to the compliment is essential to make sure it resonates.

When you compliment someone, do it in a way where the person walks away knowing exactly why they received a compliment. For example, you could say, "thanks for leading this meeting. You were great!" Instead, it would help if you say, "I know you were chosen as the leader for today's meeting. I can walk away from here knowing we accomplished something. We all now have key action items to do. Meetings are often a waste of time, but this one wasn't."

4. Share How They Made an Impact

If you think about it, the compliment is sometimes more about the giver than the receiver. When you compliment someone, you show others that they impacted your world. You tell them your experience and how they influenced you and the group.

A compliment is an excellent way to lead others because the praise shows how one individual helps the group. To become a more effective leader, use compliments to motivate the team and improve their morale. A great compliment recognizes the hard work of an individual and shows that what they do matters.

"There are two things that people want more than sex and money: recognition and praise." — Mary Kay Ash, an American businesswoman and founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics, Inc

5. Focus on the Process

A compliment should focus on what the person did, not what they created. People don't want to be recognized for the results of their work, but the process when through to get the result. To be effective with a compliment, focus on the time, sacrifice, and care that went into their work.

Compliment the process of getting to the final output. For example, you could say, "I'm quite impressed with the time and effort you put into this project. I can't imagine the late nights and weekends that went into making this happen. Thank you for all your work behind the scenes to make this project such as resounding success."

Bringing It All Together

A compliment is a powerful way to show others you value them. Before you give praise, think about why you are recognizing the person.

Ask yourself, am I sincere about this compliment? Then, explain how what they did impacted you and share your experience. Then, concentrate on the process it took to do what they did.

You can practice giving better compliments by thinking about these five things. It will become second nature to you once you internalize them. Giving powerful compliments is a great way to become a better leader and tell others how they impacted you for the greater good.

"I just think it's silly to be stingy with compliments. If you see someone and they strike you as beautiful in any way, why not let them know?" — Jill Scott, an American singer-songwriter

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