The QUICK Formula Will Make You Great at Talking to Strangers

This article will give you a handy acronym developed by a psychology researcher that you can use to start and sustain conversations with nearly anyone. But before we get to that advice we have to answer a more fundamental question.

Why would you want to talk to a bunch of random strangers anyway?

Science says you really should talk to strangers more

A quick look at how we have designed the modern world suggests that most people would prefer not talking to strangers.

We order our food via apps to avoid talking to a restaurant employee or cashier. Employees battle for the right to continue working from their couch where they will definitely not have to make elevator chit chat. Studies show the amount of time we spend in the company of screens rather than other humans has skyrocketed.

Clearly, a lot of us find talking to strangers unpleasant and anxiety-inducing. But a boatload of science suggests that's a big mistake.

First, research has found that people radically overestimate how likely strangers are to reject or be annoyed at their conversational overtures. People like talking to us more than we think they do. And we like talking to them more than we expect. An equally large body of research shows that even short simple interactions with strangers improves our mood significantly.

There are wider benefits to talking to more people too. The more you talk to others, the more likely you are to run into opportunities and ideas that can advance your career or improve your life. Various experts have called this having a "serendipity mindset" or "expanding your luck surface area." Whatever term you use, it can help you find a new job. (Or, in the case of Steve Jobs, a wife.)

Finally, in a world where information bubbles fuel political division, talking to strangers can be a radically democratic act. Bumping into those with different views, boosts empathy, reminds us most people are moderates, and begins to create the conditions for sane dialogue.

Yes, even you, fellow introverts

Which is a really long winder way of saying you really should talk to more strangers. If that makes you groan in anticipation of anxiety and awkwardness, I get it. I'm an introvert too. And as much as I have written about the psychological, professional, and social benefits of talking to strangers over the years, when I am actually confronted with the opportunity to do it, my first reaction is to walk quickly in the other direction.

Maybe they'll reject me, I think. What if the conversation gets awkward or goes on forever? And most fundamentally, what should I say? The research above should reassure you that your chat will probably go better than you fear. But that's not the only help science can offer to reluctant chitchatters like me.

Gillian Sandstrom is a researcher at the University of Sussex with a delightful title — professor in the psychology of kindness — and a new book called, Once Upon a Stranger, about how and why you should talk to strangers more. In a recent interview with UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, Sanderstrom shared a simple acronym that can help quieter types put themselves out there and start more conversations with strangers.

How to use the QUICK Method to talk to strangers

It's called QUICK, and Sandstrom explains it this way:

• **QU stands for QUestions. "**The single most common question I've used is, 'Whatcha doing?'" Sandstrom explains. Just asking what people are up to telegraphs curiosity and gets the conversational ball rolling. Yes, it is that simple, but if you want more details, the experts have suggested other questions to have in your arsenal.
• The IC stands for 'In Common.' The most common version of 'in common' questions is talking about the weather, but anything that you clearly share with the other party could work. At the theater, ask other attendees why they wanted to see the show. At the park, point out the dog in the adorable sweater.
• K stands for Kindness. No one is ever bothered by the kindness of others. "That could be giving someone a compliment, but it could also be offering someone directions or offering someone a seat or your company," Sandstrom says.

This is, of course, a dead simple formula. But that's the beauty of it. With only a few letters to remember you're guaranteed to remember it, even when you're feeling flustered or tongue tied. And the suggestions it makes are applicable to just about any person in any situation.

So this week give it a try. Even if you're hesitant to start conversations, make it a goal to talk to a few strangers this week using the QUICK framework for support. A boatload of science suggests you'll be pleasantly surprised by what happens. If you are, your low stakes experiment will have yielded a dead simple way to improve your mood, enrich your life, and make the world just a little bit happier and kinder.

This post originally appeared on Inc.com. Books and authors mentioned have affiliate links, meaning I receive a small commission if you click and go on to buy them.