Doubting whether I'm skinny enough, smart enough, good enough.

Doubting whether the decisions I make are the right ones.

Whether the people I spend time with are the right ones.

And whether I could ever achieve any of the goals I've set my mind to.

Six years ago, I realized I'm not alone with my doubts and fears.

I realized most people, no matter their age, gender, or background, spend their lives covered in doubts. And I wanted to change that.

So I started to host workshops and give talks to help students build confidence and positive habits, became a certified trainer, and had the honor to work with hundreds of clients face to face.

And luckily, my work helped me discover solutions for myself, so I could pass them along to thousands of coachees and readers over the last few years.

Your doubts are your loudest thoughts.

Most of the time, it's not our inability, lack of talent, or misfortunes that hold us back from achieving our goals.

It's our doubts and the fact that we trust in our limitations more than we trust in our skills.

When you doubt yourself, you feel paralyzed.

Everything seems a lot harder, sometimes even impossible.

You start to believe that everyone else has their life figured out, and you're the only one not knowing what to do or how to do it.

But that's not true.

The people you're looking up to aren't necessarily more skilled, educated, or capable than you are. They just learned to silence their doubts or to feel the fear and do it anyway.

And the truth is, your level of success will always depend on you getting out there and trying things.

You can't "predict" life.

When trying something new, you can't even estimate your odds of winning vs. losing.

And you can't always be well-prepared for anything that could possibly happen in life.

There's nothing wrong with a healthy dose of skepticism, but you can't allow it to stand in your way.

I used to think that being skeptical, doubtful, and a little pessimistic was a reasonable way to live life.

I thought I'd rather be skeptical and avoid disappointments instead of getting excited too quickly.

But ultimately, my skepticism and doubts led to even more fears and an inability to take action.

I was so unsure about whether things were worth my time that I felt paralyzed about doing something at all.

I always thought things like…

What if this isn't worth it?

What if this works for others but doesn't work for me?

What if I make mistakes?

What if it was all a coincidence?

What if people laugh at me?

What if I fail?

But the truth is, even if all these fears were valid, it wouldn't matter.

Because if you constantly worry about what-ifs and bury yourself in doubts, you'll miss out on life.

Living includes ups and downs.

Life is filled with failures and disappointments as much as it's filled with successes and celebrations.

When in doubt, seek answers.

A simple exercise that has helped me and many of my clients is asking myself three simple questions:

Am I being emotional or logical right now?

Most doubts are based on negative emotions, not on logic.

In fact, most problems in our lives arise because of our emotions and our inability to let go of the past.

If you could always be logical, you would have so much more time, space, and energy because you wouldn't waste your precious resources on pondering about the past or worrying about the future.

Instead, you'd just embrace the present moment.

Of course, that's not always easy.

We're humans, not robots. We have feelings and emotions, which make our lives a lot more colorful and worth living.

Yet, asking yourself whether your doubts and fears are emotional or logical can still help.

If you know that your fears aren't logical, letting go of them can become a whole lot easier.

If you, however, find out that there is a logical explanation for your doubts, you know that your fears are valid and can start to look for strategic solutions.

Is this thought useful? (Does it help make my life any better?)

Once you've found out whether your thought is emotional or logical, you can ask yourself whether it's useful.

If a thought is useful, it'll help you figure out how to become a happier version of yourself and lead a better life overall.

If it's not useful, it'll only keep you stuck in doom loops full of doubts, unreasoned fears, and toxic emotions that hold you back from moving forward.

Will my future self thank me for this?

This is my favorite thought experiment when it comes to judging my own behavior in the present moment.

Even though the ultimate goal is to be present and enjoy the moment, thinking of my future self helps me make the right decisions and figure out whether I've been misjudging a situation.

Once you've got a clear picture of how you want your future life (and self) to look like, you'll be able to assess whether certain fears are valid or just an excuse for not doing what you're supposed to do.

In the end, your future self will only thank you for making the right decisions and taking risks.

Because ultimately, big rewards are usually linked to some risks.

If you, for instance, want to write for a living, you'll have to take the risk of publishing your work. This is a scary yet crucial first step that most writers are fear to take.

But if you don't take it, nobody will ever discover, read, and love your work at all.

If you take the risk, readers might tell you that they don't like what you wrote.

They might leave mean comments.

Or worse, they might just ignore your work.

But if you don't try it at all, you'll never know what you could have achieved.

So the follow-up question here is, is this risk worth taking?

If you really want something, your answer will be hell yeah.

If you're not sure whether you really want it, you probably should spend a little more time discovering what exactly you want in the first place.

You don't win or lose. You do both.

So many people are obsessed with the idea of being an overnight success, while the concept itself is just a big disappointment itself.

You can't win at something you've never done before.

If you're doing something for the very first time, the odds are high that you'll suck at it.

It's a natural process, no matter if you're learning to play an instrument, building a business, or entering your first romantic relationship.

First, you learn. Then you win.

What matters is that you don't let your doubts and invalid fears stand in your own way.

Doubts won't go away. But you can learn to silence them and act despite them.

Failing won't make you a failure. It'll help you learn.

Not trying, however, will always keep you stuck.

So try.

Get out there and fight for your dreams, even if it feels a little scary.

Allow yourself to take baby steps and have fun in the process.

You're not here to be safe and flawless.

You're allowed to learn through real-life experiences and grow into your best self by taking action. Even if the action first leads to small failures and temporary disappointments.

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