It's like a staggering tightness that penetrates throughout your chest. You're not in physical pain, per-say, but the emotional pain just feels unbearable.

maybe you just got broken up with. Maybe you have no friends. No support. Your family dynamics are messed up. Whatever the case, you feel lost, unappreciated, keeping a brave face for the rest of the world.

It may feel even worse when others praise you for your habits. Maybe physically you look better than ever. You're achieving physical things, work milestones. But that smile is only exterior wise.

On the inside you are in pain. Connection is missing . You don't have anybody to lean on. Perhaps you've been praying about for so long.

I've been there. Going to high school where I was constantly under-appreciated no matter what efforts I did. Others would get praised for half the work and things i was achieving. God, it pained me so much . I felt like a lost puppy.

Now, fast forward to college, getting a notable about of recognition, and eyes, however, the lack of intimate relationships stemmed from the fact that the ones I had gone through fell through, it feels like i'm reliving high school. But i'm a much more ideal version of myself physically and mentally.

Those mental wounds and traumas stem from the fact that no matter what you do it will never be enough. And that is true. Others will always have something to say about you.

But one thing is true, is that there will always be at least one person that is secretly rooting for you. That admires you. Someone you probably doesn't even know exist.

What I'm trying to say is that, 1. you aren't alone. You aren't crazy for wanting someone to lean on. As humans we are relational, it is not wrong to want to be in a relationship. We are social species. 2. Things are always moving . Nothing will stay the same.

Are you in the exact same situation you were in 6 months and 24 days ago? I don't think so. Things change. People change. Situations change. We can find solace in that. Give it another shot. Get out of bed. Stop scrolling for a bit and go for a walk. Take some selfies. Be kind.

It is going to workout and you will be okay. I promise.