By Grace K. Bianco
It may not give me a ton to write about it, but it gives me plenty to be thankful for.
Throughout all of my life, I have always craved routine and lack of change. Change has always freaked me out a lot. It reminded me how little control I have over my life.
When I was 18, I experienced a lot of life changes all at once. It was then I turned to writing. If my life was going to be crazy, I would have plenty of stories to tell.
When my husband entered my life at 19, it got even crazier. This made for even more stories.
Life wasn't slowing down, and it gave me more than enough content.
After almost four years of constant change and surprises, I wasn't expecting it to ever slow down.
But it did.
Anxious me is thriving.
Change was one of my many triggers.
When my life became too unpredictable, my mind would freak out, and my body would shut down.
I'd struggle with mood swings. Mental breakdowns became my norm.
I never felt mentally prepared for whatever came next. The second I accepted one change, another would come flying in.
Big changes continued to be difficult for me. Little changes became nothing.
Now, that my husband and I have moved into an apartment in TN. Life has slowed way down. Everything has become much more predictable. Every day is pretty much the same.
I can breathe now. Little changes roll off of my back. Although my chaotic life was hard on my mental health at times, I grew more than I ever thought possible.
Writer me is struggling to come up with life stories to share.
With nothing happening in my life, I feel like I have to really dig and pay attention for my next stories.
My stories used to be full of updates, rants, and answered prayers. My life stories have always been my favorite ones to write.
Now, I'll ask myself things like, "Should I write about my new laptop?" There just isn't a whole lot going on over here.
I am not complaining.
I genuinely never thought that my life would ever get back to this point. Of course, a crazy change could happen in the next minute. But I am not anticipating anything too great right now.
My husband and I have worked hard in very different ways to get to this point. We prayed many prayers to live a more settled life. God has continued to answer us.
Right now, we are praying for guidance and wisdom on building a house on our land in TN. We are also praying that our house in SC sells soon. In the grand scheme of things, none of those requests are urgent.
I am so blessed to have the life that I do. It may not give me a ton to write about it, but it gives me plenty to be thankful for.
Don't worry though. My stories may not be anything too crazy right now, but I will always find something to write. (-:
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Read about some of the craziness here:
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