SATIRE

MIAMI, FL — Jeff Bezos' oldest daughter, Amazon Alexa, has been spotted in various homes throughout the Miami metropolitan area.

"I'm so pissed," remarked Karen, suburban wife who has nothing important to do but pilates.

"I was having a serious conversation with Shelly on why Ashley's outfit made me feel insecure about my style. Now that I know someone was eavesdropping, I feel even more insecure about my situation. I'll never be able to wear my Fall 2020 Monday outfit from Overpriced Brand in peace again."

"If only she had better things to do other than listen to people's conversations. What a yenta!"

"I kinda knew she was spying on me all along," remarked Judy. "But she helps me grocery shop and take care of the kids. Nobody helps me with that, not even my husband!"

When Jeff Bezos was asked for a comment, he said it's our fault for letting Alexa into our houses — but also to keep buying as it supports AMZN stock.

Another one ;)