REAL TALK
I never thought I would say this to you. You may have been underthinking — how to stop overthinking. Ironically, I've done the overthinking part for you for this billion-dollar question. If I were you, I would think why that is ironic right now. OR is that hypocritical of me? (Yes, I watch Ted Lasso.)
On a serious note, are you thinking what I think you're thinking?
On a seriously serious note, I have genuinely no idea what I'm thinking, let alone what you're thinking. If you think this is another satirical article that intends to mock humans and our culture, I'm deeply sorry to disappoint you. Because, for once, I wanted to have a real talk — I think?
Nobody has ever escaped from anxiety attacks in the history of mankind — and womankind. We can't help but overthink a lot, especially for things that truly don't matter at all in the grand scheme of things. After some serious self-reflection and a lot of reading lately, I've been practicing several simple yet effective methods to find proper peace.
If you're now thinking "Who do you think you are?" let me explain.
Meditation
I've heard many people say, "I've tried meditation. It doesn't work for me." Let me tell you something nobody has told you before. Meditation is not as same as medication.
If you take Paracetamol once, you can make your fever disappear. If you meditate once, you can't possibly expect to stop your panic attacks and anxiety. Meditation helps you in the long run. You must meditate consistently. It can be five to ten minutes a day — twice, or even once. But, make it a habit. Get addicted to it. You'll see the results — better than you desired.
Many of the big fishes in the world meditate — regularly. That's how they don't lose their shit, even when there's chaos all around them.
When you meditate, you truly begin to live in the moment. You're gaining self-control. Live in the moment, like the Northern lights.
On second thought, medication takes time, too.
Take a Deep Breath
Three years ago, my Brazilian friend sent me a text when I was in severe emotional distress right before my all-important thesis presentation. Right on cue, her text read, "I know how you must be feeling. Before your presentation, close your eyes. Breathe in for ten seconds. Breathe out for ten seconds. Trust me. It's so simple yet effective. You're going to nail this."
I listened to her. How'd it go? That was the best forty-five minutes of my entire academic career. Even I was impressed. And I'm never impressed with myself. Whenever I feel like I'm losing control of the situation, I still remember her text and take a moment to breathe.
Write a Joke
If you know me, you know I've talked enough about this. Humor helps, which is a massive understatement. I turned my whole life around after I began to see comedy in everything. Whatever haunts me, I write a joke about it. Behind most of my jokes, there are sad stories behind them.
The sadder the story is, the funnier the joke becomes. It's poetic when you think about it.
Again, I've heard many people say, "But I don't know how to write jokes, which makes me even sadder." Nobody asks you to write a joke to perform in front of a Wembley Stadium crowd. Only you have to laugh at your joke. Call it Satire. If your joke sucks, laugh at it even more.
Entertainment
I mostly watch movies/TV shows of the mystery genre. It keeps you guessing until the end. Don't bother watching depressing shows like 13 Reasons Why or toxic shows like You and Euphoria.
Sometimes getting away from your own self even for an hour is the best solution to your problems. This is not a temporary solution either. Because sooner or later, you'll come to realize how silly it would all look in the end.
You'll laugh at yourself when you look back on your life and see all the stupid things you seriously once worried about. Most of those things do not matter. Why do we have to waste our one precious life overthinking them?
I watch a lot of comedy shows and movies. I listen to podcasts as well, especially profound philosophy discussions. Explore new things.
Stoicism
I've been strongly advocating for stoicism to all my loved ones. Reading and/or practicing stoicism has changed my life. Ryan Holiday who is the modern teacher of Stoicism is one of the very few people I look up to. If you can't find the time to read, watch his videos on YouTube. Listen to his podcasts. He is everywhere. Yes, he's on Medium, too.
Whenever I find myself overthinking things, I often remember to ask myself these questions:
Is this necessary?
Is this something I can control?
If today is my last day on Earth, would I be doing this now?
The truth is, as Seneca once famously said, "We suffer more in imagination than in reality". Get it through your head.
Believe me when I say this — You literally can't go wrong with stoicism.
Green Tea
Simon Baker from The Mentalist once famously said, "Tea? It's like a hug in a cup."
I say almost famously, "Green tea? It's like an orgasm in a cup."
Drinking green tea is like doing meditation itself. I haven't had coffee in the last four months. For the first time in my life, I've found true peace. Coincidence? After some overthinking, I think not.
I'm not asking you to stop drinking coffee altogether. Not everyone can be me. I know many people are incredibly proud of their coffee addiction. I was, too. Coffee dramatically increases your anxiety. Be mindful of your caffeine intake.
The smell of coffee still tempts me. What do I do to control it? I breathe in for ten seconds. I breathe out for twenty seconds. Those extra ten seconds do the trick for me.
Did you know? Apples are more effective than caffeine. Apples have thirteen grams of natural sugar, which provoke a similar response to caffeine. Unlike caffeine, apples don't give you jolts, mood swings, anxiety, jitters, or the dreaded crash.
It's not that I can't have coffee at all. It's just that I've been testing the limits of my self-control. If I can control the temptation of the coffee smell, I can control anything. After all, drinking coffee is something I can control.
Bridge of Spies
In an incredibly emotional movie Bridge of Spies, the arrested Soviet spy Mark Rylance's life would be on the edge. Even the nonchalant Tom Hanks who is Mark's lawyer would be astounded to see how Mark is keeping his cool amidst the chaos.
Tom asks Mark, "Do you never worry?" Marks innocently looks at him and responds, "Would it help?"
I'm pretty sure nobody thinks about that beautiful scene as much as I do. Neither Tom Hanks nor Mark Rylance.
Reading
I read an incredible amount of mystery novels. I often pick a book that says "unputdownable" on its cover. Reading can take you places not only you've never been before but also you can never even imagine. As George R.R. Martin famously once said, "A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one."
As I almost famously once said, "Reading on Medium obviously doesn't count as reading." Unless — you read Ryan Holiday— or — Srini?
Journaling
I journal every day. My journal is obviously almost full of jokes. But I have a lot of profound thoughts, too. I'm someone who makes a list of everything I come across. Pros and cons. Red flags and green flags. Not only about other people but also about myself. I don't like to miss anything. It gives me so much clarity on what needs to be fixed.
You have to self-reflect at the end of the day. Self-reflection does not count as overthinking. Be honest with yourself. If you can't accept your mistakes, you can't get better. Journaling will tell you exactly what you need to know about yourself and why you still suck.
Walking
Walking outdoors is ideal because of the fresh oxygen. Walking indoors helps too. Take a walk for fifteen minutes. Walking will significantly distract you from — yourself.
If you feel your cat is overthinking, take your cat for a walk. It's called a catwalk. Look it up!
Preaching
When I keep preaching to people about everything I have read/learned, I sometimes, to my surprise, actually listen to myself. You should try it sometimes. It works like a charm.
Lowkey on Social Media
Social media is undeniably one of the main reasons many get depressed. Even the best of us get obsessed with comparing ourselves with others who aren't exactly showing their true colors on social media either.
Should I post this picture on Instagram?
Should I hide this picture on Instagram?
Why does she not like my picture?
Should I delete my tweet?
NOBODY CARES! Get over yourself! There's more to life!
Look how we meticulously waste our time and energy. That's no way to live.
I've practically disappeared from all social media. As it turns out, life still goes on. Boy, have I found peace!
Music
Listen to music. Music that lifts your spirit. Not sombre music like Radiohead or The Smiths. My go-to music? Radiohead and The Smiths. They oddly do lift my spirit.
Most of the people I know can't help but gravitate toward depressing music. You're subconsciously telling yourself you don't want to be in a good mood and you actually like this depressing feeling. Listen to meditation music for twenty minutes. While you're at it, meditate the shit out of it.
Do a self-reflection every day. Every hour if possible. Ask yourself, "Why am I feeling this way?" "Why does it unsettle me?" Understand what triggers you and stay away from it at all costs.
You know what's sexy? To keep your head cool, calm, and collected, even when you're in the middle of the storm. No matter what life throws at them, someone who still keeps finding ways by overcoming obstacles, to me, is the hottest person on the planet.
If we could avoid all the time overthinking utterly unnecessary things, we might start to really live. Even if it's a necessary thing, if it's beyond our control, what's the point of even underthinking it?
As I almost famously said many times before, "Peace, to me, is more important than happiness."
DO NOT let anyone or anything compromise that. Not even yourself. Especially yourself.
Enough about me! Meet my two favorite girls on Medium who are WISER than me, COOLER than me, yet YOUNGER than me. Reading these two sweethearts on Medium also counts as reading. Partially because they predominantly write about stoicism.