"You're only truly comfortable and at ease when you choose to fit into a specific group."

Maybe we all fear being alone, fear having no friends. We've all been there:

Wanting to get close to someone, so you try super hard to please them and keep them around.

Wanting to fit into a group, so you change yourself, compromise, and go along with others.

But constantly giving and trying to win people over will just wear you out.

Instead of sticking with people who don't share your vision or values, it's better to find real friends among those who are on the same path.

**Adults only filter, they don't change**

** **

The popular movie "Lost in the Stars" recently showed us how dark human nature can be.

Even scarier than the movie is the real-life story it was based on:

A pregnant woman who fell off a cliff in Thailand.

Wang Ning, who was three months pregnant, was pushed off a cliff in Thailand by her husband, Yu Zhendong, who wanted her dead.

Before that, this "perfect" man suddenly appeared, deliberately pursued her, and married her quickly.

But beneath his carefully crafted image was a devilish personality.

Wang Ning's story makes us angry and sad, but it also serves as a stark warning:

Never expect to change someone who's not on your wavelength.

Just like the tragedy between her and Yu Zhendong, there were signs from the start.

They were never in the same world from the beginning:

She was independent and driven, starting her own successful business in Thailand. He was lazy and wanted to make quick money through gambling, always looking for shortcuts. She was sincere and kind, with simple trust and hope in the world and love. He was selfish and fake, appearing extremely thoughtful on the outside but full of lies and deceit.

In Yu Zhendong's family, his father didn't have a steady income and relied on his mother.

Yu Zhendong was the same. He constantly asked his wife for money for his pleasures and felt entitled to have her pay off all his gambling debts if she loved him.

At that time, Wang Ning didn't choose to divorce. She even thought she could change Yu Zhendong through communication and influence, hoping he would become more mature and rational.

But she didn't get the change she hoped for from her husband; instead, she almost lost her life.

As the saying goes, if your goals are different, don't associate; if your paths are different, don't plan together.

If you're not from the same world, don't force yourselves to be together.

People with different values will never be on the same path, no matter how hard you try.

Don't even think about changing a bad person, and don't try to move a devil. They simply have no heart.

Adults only filter; they don't change.

Instead of exhausting ourselves trying to change others, it's better to move forward with those who are truly on the same path.

Only like-minded people can stay together for life

When you mention Lin Huiyin, many people think of her poem "You Are April in the World."

But beyond her work as a writer, Lin Huiyin is even more respected for her contributions to Chinese architecture.

She was China's first female architect. She not only helped design the national emblem of New China and the Monument to the People's Heroes but also saved the nearly lost traditional craft of cloisonné.

Lin Huiyin, through her steady, step-by-step efforts, became a pioneer in modern Chinese architecture.

This was due to her own hard work, but also to the companionship and support of her husband, Liang Sicheng.

She and Liang Sicheng went to the U.S. to study architecture together for their shared career and dreams. After returning to China, the couple traveled to over 200 counties for their country's architectural endeavors, leaving behind a wealth of valuable primary data.

They supported each other in their careers and stayed together in life.

During the war, Lin Huiyin's tuberculosis flared up, and she was bedridden.

Liang Sicheng did his best to care for her, learning to cook for his wife and even how to give her intravenous injections.

When Lin Huiyin lost hope for life, Liang Sicheng would encourage her, giving her love and hope.

Before marrying Liang Sicheng, Lin Huiyin was troubled by another relationship.

When she was young and just starting to understand love, she met the talented Xu Zhimo.

Xu Zhimo pursued her fiercely, but Lin Huiyin was clear-headed.

Compared to the romantic and passionate Xu Zhimo, Lin Huiyin wanted a relationship that was like-minded, responsible, and dependable.

So, she turned down the great talent Xu Zhimo and chose Liang Sicheng, who could fight alongside her and grow with her.

Once you've met different people, walked various paths, and seen the vast world, you'll realize:

In relationships, just having feelings and love isn't enough.

Some people might walk with you for a while, making your life amazing for a certain period.

But only two people who are like-minded and appreciate each other have the endurance to walk through life together.

Life's journey is long. I hope you can see clearly into your own heart.

Then, choose to walk with someone whose soul is similar to yours, someone who can help you achieve more.

Only like-minded people can stay together for life

We need to find people on the same wavelength for love, and isn't it the same for friendship?

To outsiders, Lu Xun seemed like someone who didn't socialize much.

He didn't joke around much, and his expression was mostly serious, making him seem unapproachable.

But this didn't mean he had bad people skills; it just meant Lu Xun had his own standards when choosing friends and circles.

Among Lu Xun's friends, his thirty-year precious friendship with Xu Shoushang is highly praised.

Lu Xun's wife described it this way:

"Their conversations covered a wide range, from introducing new books to discussing ancient texts, from famous Western works to recent Japanese writings.

They shared everything about their lives, their experiences, their joys, and their sorrows, with no reservations."

They not only talked about everything academically but also helped each other in life.

When Lu Xun first returned to China and was looking for work, Xu Shoushang asked his friends to help him find opportunities.

Knowing Lu Xun was struggling financially, Xu Shoushang often asked his wife to cook extra food to share with Lu Xun.

When Xu Shoushang's daughter fell ill, Lu Xun anxiously helped him find hospitals.

Whenever Lu Xun saw nice stamps while traveling, he would save them and send them to Xu Shoushang, who loved collecting stamps.

Lu Xun didn't have many friends, but they all shared his interests and appreciated each other, like Cai Yuanpei and Soong Ching-ling.

When Cai Yuanpei served in the Ministry of Education, he recommended Lu Xun for a job there.

After becoming the president of Peking University, he immediately invited Lu Xun to teach there.

When Lu Xun became seriously ill, Soong Ching-ling was extremely worried and arranged for Shanghai's most famous American lung specialist, Dr. Deng, to examine him.

After Lu Xun's death, Soong Ching-ling personally led the funeral procession, walking at the very front of the crowd of mourners.

It was her action that prevented anyone in the funeral procession from being arrested by the Nationalist authorities.

Qian Zhongshu once said, "No need to find unreliable people to say pointless things."

As people get older, they stop seeking a large number of people around them and focus more on quality.

Because you know:

Your circle doesn't need to be big; as long as people are genuine, that's what matters. You don't need many friends; as long as you click, that's enough.

So, don't be afraid of being alone or having few friends.

Two or three true friends are worth more than a crowd of casual acquaintances.

In the adult world, everyone has limited time and energy.

Instead of trying to broaden your so-called social circle and meet unimportant people, it's better to actively seek happiness with those who are on the same wavelength.

In the right circle, live a comfortable life

Mo Yan once said:

If you want a happy and comfortable life, you must have your own "circle" and find some "fun."

I completely agree.

The prerequisite for a person to live happily and comfortably is to have a comfortable circle.

We can't decide who enters our lives, but we can choose who stays.

Don't spend too much time on unnecessary social events or forced pleasantries. For those who don't share your vision or values, it's better to part ways with them sooner and go your separate ways.

If you're not on the same path, don't force it.

The longer you're together, the more awkward and uncomfortable it will become.

When you're with people on the same path, you respect and understand each other.

Even if you're just sitting there quietly, you'll feel comfortable and at ease.