This is #11 in the Dating With Confidence Series. Check out #1 to #10 plus the archives here.
Dating can be hard enough, but when you add in all the slang floating around out there, it can be downright confusing.
If you've recently started using dating websites or apps or just starting to date again after being out of the game, it can be helpful to know what some of these dating terms mean.
That way, you'll avoid any embarrassing misunderstandings with potential dates. You'll be able to converse more confidently with others about your dating experiences.
So without further ado, here are some of the most common internet dating slang terms, according to Google (together with a Boomer equivalent for anyone my age).
Soft launch
Usually found on social media, a soft launch hints that a relationship has become intimate or exists at all.
It manifests as an image of clasped hands or perhaps a selfie at an intimate restaurant showing your date's arm or elbow in the frame. You are clearly not alone, but it's not clear who your dinner date is.
It's a whisper, a suggestion, a hint of something romantic in the air.
In contrast, a hard launch is a picture of you and your beau kissing.
My partner single-handedly hard launched our relationship by changing his Facebook profile to in a relationship with Wendy Scott. The first I heard of it was when my work friends told me.
That was five years ago and was in vogue, but such a blatant announcement is now old-hat.
Boomer equivalent:
Soft launch — being coy, keeping the relationship private
Hard launch — making the relationship public
Flexting
Like it sounds, flexting is the love child of flirting and texting. It's flirting by text. But it's also got some flexing in it.
It seems even the internet can't decide.
Some sources claim a flext is just a flirty text message and maybe an emoji, a sexy pic, or a flirty comment.
Others claim the flexing element is prominent. There's a definite air of bragging and 'flexing', exaggerating certain areas of your life like an old-school weightlifter flexing his biceps.
Younger flexters commonly agonise over the success of their flexts which is measured by how quickly the flexee responds.
The second time around, I remember anxiously checking my phone for texts and the excitement of receiving a new message. Though going to the lengths of timing messages was a bridge too far. Or I was just blissfully unaware.
Boomer equivalent:
None. We didn't have mobile phones. If someone wanted to ask us on a date, they had to ring the landline and get through our mum and dad.
In my case, we didn't have a phone, so if a boy wanted to ask me out or flirt, he had to come and knock on the door. If you'd left home, your flatmates stood in for your mum and dad.
Fauci-ing
To 'Fauci' someone in the dating world means to refuse to date them because they are not taking coronavirus seriously.
When deciding if to Fauci, your prospective date will want to know your stance on the virus in detail.
Do you believe the virus is real? Have you had your vaccinations? Do you wear a mask, wash your hands and follow the latest medical advice?
If not, it's all over rover, you've been Fauci'ed, and it's goodbye from me and goodbye from him.
As a fully vaccinated, mask-wearing, rule-following citizen who doesn't want to be responsible for infecting vulnerable others, I can't say I blame them.
Boomer equivalent:
None. We happily shared drinks, drove without seat belts, and were used to running around unsupervised since childhood.
We'd have probably ignored the pandemic in those uninformed times or holed up with our parents, who would have shot anyone who tried to get in the house.
Cuffing
Cuffing is luring someone in as a boyfriend/girlfriend just so you won't be alone over winter.
The person you 'cuff' isn't a long-term prospect — at least in your eyes — but will do to hang out with during the winter months.
The 'cuffee' is dumped once winter is over to better enjoy the summer and look for a better option.
Boomer equivalent:
Using you because they don't want to be alone until someone better comes along.
Hatfishing, Catfishing & Kittenfishing
There seems to be a lot of fishing going on!
Apparently, men who are bald or have thinning hair wear a hat in their profile pictures to hide it. Once on the date, they hope their dazzling personality will win you over.
It's worth a try, as many men have shaved heads. If it doesn't go down well, it's the hatfisher's own time wasted, plus the disappointment of being rejected for something that is already an area of concern.
We've all heard about catfishing, which deliberately misrepresents yourself, but now kittenfishing is also a thing. Kittenfishing is slightly exaggerating your good points and hinting at how extraordinary your life is.
It's catfishing lite and harder to call out as any kitten fishing crimes can be re-framed as ambivalence or their date getting the wrong end of the stick.
Boomer equivalent:
Your date is full of shit. And bald like Kojak.
Textlationship
If you get on well with someone via text but not in real life, you're in a textlationship. You flirt and send multiple messages, but face to face, it doesn't quite seem to work.
You can't leave it alone, but no real relationship evolves. If you enjoy texting with your beau or belle far more than spending actual time with them, you need to decide how long to let the situation go on.
It's a fun way to pass the time, but it could also lure you into a false sense of having a relationship when you don't.
Boomer equivalent:
You're being messed around though it would be over the phone instead of by text.
Half-Night Stand & Several Night Stand
The new dating lingo has come up with variations on the one-night stand. You've just had a half-night stand if your gal or guy doesn't even stay the night after sex.
If that's your thing, great. But if you're looking for something more and your date won't even stay past the sex, you're probably looking in the wrong place.
If you have several one-night stands or even half-night stands, but no actual dates eventuate, you're experiencing several-night stands. Again, fine if you like that sort of thing but not so fine if you were expecting something more.
Boomer equivalent:
Mucking you about.
Sex Interview
Time to use your interviewing skills in your love life? Maybe not.
I doubt the skills you've picked up at work will be much good in a sex interview. For the forthright daters, a sex interview is having sex before the first date to see if there is chemistry.
You don't even get a first date if you don't pass the sex interview. Sad, but true. I pity the daters who get a reputation for failing the interviews.
Boomer equivalent:
Using you for sex.
Summary
Whether you're single and looking or just curious about the latest dating slang, I hope this blog post was helpful.
I've also written about ghosting, roaching, zombieng, and more in my articles Six Weird New Dating Trends Singles Need to Know and Six (More) Weird Dating Trends.