The Biggest Regret Guys Have: Missing Out on These Kinds of Girls

"Girls who are too forward are always up to no good." When I first heard that, my whole world flipped upside down.

I was shocked and asked my friend why he'd say that. He told me, "Don't you think girls who are that eager are just desperate because nobody wants them?"

I said, "You just like those fake, damsel-in-distress types. You just love feeling like you've conquered something. If being loved doesn't feel good to you, you're sick and need help. And any girl who's forward with you is just blind."

Back in New York, I knew a girl who worked in film promotion. She was a whirlwind, always efficient. One time, we were hanging out at a folk music bar, and she asked me:

"Mr. Know-It-All, do you also like those long-haired, delicate girls?"

Actually, her love life was a mess. In college, her boyfriend was a total mama's boy in the same major. She was the one who chased him in the first place, and once they were together, she was basically his mom.

But later, the guy listened to his parents. They said the girl wasn't proper, wasn't steady, and wasn't wife material. In the end, he broke up with her over the phone. Didn't even see her face-to-face before heading home to take civil service exams.

Then she dated a young director. She poured her heart out for him, working her day job and then helping him edit films at night.

For Valentine's Day, she planned dinner and picked out a gift. She finally got him, but after they slept together once, the director said, "Your forwardness makes me feel insecure. Are you hiding something from me?"

So he ran away from her too.

A few more relationships followed, mostly ending in disaster. One night, people told her to change, to learn how to play hard to get, to learn how to manipulate and strategize in relationships. "You have to use bait to catch a fish, not throw yourself in," they said.

But she said something that really got to me: "I just want to find my own happiness, in the most genuine, no-strings-attached way. I'm just being brave and reaching for love. What's wrong with that?"

Yeah, what's wrong with her? Why should she change? The problem isn't her, it's us. It's us in this day and age. We've twisted her sincerity. We don't have the guts to love. Our suspicions and doubts make someone who's done nothing wrong feel like they have to change their courage.

She gave up everything, put all the power in your hands. And the person who offered kindness ends up being the one in the wrong? That's ridiculous!

Like a comment I saw under a song: "I set aside my pride, my ego, everything, to come to you. It's not my nature, but my heart just can't let you go."

No girl is just casually forward. When she starts to treat a relationship seriously and proactively, it means she's ready to walk with you. You'll never know how much effort and courage it took for her to make that decision.

The girl who loves you first isn't the loser. Because the moment she chose to be brave, she deserved everyone's respect. If you meet someone who runs away because of your courage, then that person isn't worth your love. Either they don't have the will to love, or they know they don't deserve you.

Remember, the person who loves you will come closer. The person who doesn't love you will run away in a panic.

When John and Mary got married, there was a wedding photo that sparked a lot of discussion online. In the photo, Mary was kneeling on one knee, looking at her husband, John, with admiration. John, on the other hand, was standing tall and proud.

In our minds, it seems like Mary was always the one making the moves and putting in the effort, from the beginning of their relationship to their marriage. They dated for ten years. I heard that Mary proposed to John every year, starting from their third year together.

She spent her best years with this broke guy, without a single complaint. Even when they were crammed into a tiny apartment, even when it was freezing cold in the winter with no heat, even when she had to work multiple jobs to make ends meet, she stayed by John's side.

It was like a huge gamble. Mary bet her youth. She didn't know how many thorns were ahead, but her heart was always firm, and she never thought about leaving.

For a while, people were leaving comments on Mary's social media, telling her she didn't have to love so humbly. But Mary said that's just how she loves. She's insecure and just wants John to stay with her.

But their love isn't just Mary giving and giving. Their love goes both ways.

John didn't ignore Mary's efforts, and he didn't let her love go to waste. His love for her might be subtle and restrained, but he'd always bring her a small gift when he came home from a business trip. He'd also make sure she had warm clothes when it got cold.

John once wrote Mary a letter. In it, he said, "My wife has been with me through tears, laughter, hardship, exhaustion, and sweetness. I'll never let her leave me. She's the best girl, and she deserves all the good things in the world."

After all these years, they finally got married. All the effort was worth it. John and Mary both deserve this deep love.

I heard a girl say, "People don't tell the person they like, 'I like you.' They keep their feelings buried. They don't meet up with the person they want to see. They pretend to be reserved. But I'm not like that. I'll tell you loudly, 'I miss you. Want to grab a bite?'"

Some people might think it's cheap for a girl to be forward, and that nobody will appreciate her in a relationship. Even if she gives a lot, she might get dumped one day. But being forward isn't groveling. It's being confident and generous.

Being brave with you isn't inexcusable. It means I dare to take the first step decisively and can also let go gracefully, without clinging on.

Those who take the lead in love are just using courage to avoid endless regrets and sorrows. But she's still herself. She still has her own principles and bottom line. They're not your possessions. They're the kind of rare luck you might encounter in your life.

I hope everyone's affection is rewarded, and I hope everyone's sincerity isn't wasted. But you need to know that your thoughts will only be understood by those who deserve it. Your initiative will only be reciprocated by those who appreciate you.

The most beautiful moment of a firework isn't when it explodes alone in the dark night sky. It's when someone else is also watching this magnificent courage, with tears in their eyes.