When I was 10 years old, my mother passed away. A week later, my grandmother who was quite literally my second mother at the time passed away.

It took 8 years for me to process.

I had no guidance. No one to show me what to do or what not to do. My dad processed this with alcohol. I was scared.

It made me extremely angry. I would fight a lot. Be extremely protective of my friends. I wanted to be feared so I felt safe.

This then attracted the wrong crowd from a young age.

There were times where they'd come and knock on my door, I wouldn't know whether they were coming to beat me up, or if we were going to beat someone else up. I was 12.

I lived my teenage years in fear. My depression peaked at 18.

I had, what I now realise as one of the most important recognitions we can have in this lifetime.

That there is nothing in this world that can ever make me happy, unless some day that thing will leave me, die, disappear, and inevitably bring me misery.

This took my depression to its peak, where I devoted to finding a way out, or I would simply kill myself.

The problem was, I had no idea where to look. Then I remembered Steve jobs, who I admired at the time, said one thing.

"The two things that changed my life were reading the book Be Here Now, and taking LSD."

So that's where I started!

And that's when I learnt the art of mediation.

However, the fear and suicidal ideation then flipped into the fear of my own death.

I suffered the most intense chronic anxiety and psychosis where I believed everything was going to kill me.

If I wasn't already on a trajectory, this set me on a rocket ship. 1000% of my energy and focus was then devoted solely to understating the nature of my mind and suffering.

And I'm not exaggerating. Every second of every day for 7 years. I then trained as a coach and meditation teacher.

The thought that I was ever angry like I used to be absurd to me now.

After a global search, I then found my teacher Rupert Spira. The rest is history.

My best friend then died this year. It was profound. I was left with a different kind of grief. A grief that inspired me.

A grief that felt like love. Gratitude. It was as though those 7 years distilled what used to be suffering into a fine wine.

It was challenging. But it was beautiful. And it inspired my next chapter.

My process is designed to take someone from potentially the darkest times of their life to live in the beauty of our natural peaceful state of being.

A peace that is independent of circumstances. A peace that puts us into the best mental shape of our lives.

Freedom from the psychological suffering that usually seems to accompany these feelings and events.

Meditation & understanding meditation was the baseline that ultimately shifted every element of my entire life.

If you're going through anything of this likeness, I want to help you transition into your being.

There is nothing that can prevent us from this cycle of suffering unless we take action to leave it.

If you're interested in learning my meditation process, book a free session here: https://calendly.com/sajafendel/claritycall

We can see if the program is a fit for you and at the very least, give you a path to start your journey.

Thank you for reading,

All the Love and Wonder,

Saja.

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