Spoiler Alert: You Are Stepping Into Adulthood

Hello, hey, hi, amazing youngsters & any reader of this blog post!

A big, warm, wide, and humble welcome to anyone who's gone out of their way to invest themselves in this blog post.

And if my words do not compel you to read every next line, then my writing this post will have a rare significance.

So, yes, I am Gurleen, a soul navigating adulthood one blog at a time!

I am glad you clicked here, and I am sure you are one of the Gen Z transition pandas just like me. Sometimes I am doing kung-fu, and sometimes I wonder if I am in airplane mode!

Do you know what I mean?

We are the ones hanging between late teens and wise adulthood.

And believe me, none of us knows it any better than a kid learning the alphabet for the first time.

So, firstly, I will share my story about how I landed up here.

Trigger Warning: Real Life Happened

Being away from the world's noise, away from my peers after my graduate school, away from the youthful trips and celebrations, away from the protective shield that we have when we are in university, at home with my family all around, after three years; me changed, they changed, and that is when I landed myself into a space of complete silence, that is when I sat down with my thoughts.

I was in an isolated zone, really zoned out but behaving deadass hilarious, trying to be cool with low-key comedy, escaping wildly and showing off as if I had the world's top-notch confidence, feeling that once X is settled, I will be happy; so pressured and exhausted that I was never aware of the very recent action that I had taken.

So, yes, you are right. I was depressed, numb, and uncontrolled. And it's not just me; there are so many of us going through repeated phases of mental imbalances.

So much so that I had to go to a psychotherapist, only to feel pity for myself, and that is when I realized how much I had ignored my needs for the last 20 years of my life just to fit in better. It was a threatening realization.

Life's Breakthrough & One Mountain Conquered: Starting Soft Chaos; My Blog on Mental Health & Positive Youth Development

And finally, after months of breakdown, I somehow found my first breakthrough. And it was the idea of starting a blog on positive youth development and mental health, being raw about how chaotic and messy adulthood can be.

I remember that day when I had a strong instinct: I am done! It's so much; I cannot take it anymore and feel pity for myself again and again. A proverb stuck with me, it said, "I was not meant to fit in but to break the mold." And that is when I realized all my peers are in the same situation, with their mysterious stories. Everybody is navigating their transition phase all by themselves, but we rarely open up about things and lead it all together.

Possibly because of distance, dissimilarities, hesitancy, misconceptions, and so on. And sometimes also keeping ourselves busy only to find that we are just busy, and not engaged.

I was highly overwhelmed and toxified without gulping any intoxicants, no alcohol, no cigarette butts, but just me, myself, and all with my thoughts, my wracking nervous system, and my disconnected soul. I got addicted to eating a lot of fennel seeds; sounds like laughing, right? You are free to go ahead with your smiles and laughter.

I wanted to be real, as real, fucking real, as shitty as I could be because I know there's somebody who needs to start. And why not me?

It was January when I thought about this, and it's August when I am finally writing my first blog post.

Trust me, I have no right answers, just real questions and real observations.

But sometimes I wish I knew this a bit earlier. However, it's okay; we can always start now.

What Will You Get? Real Talk, Soft Resets, Lesser Chaos, Clarity Vibes

Today, I am here to unpack what this blog will be about, some common assumptions we consume about the opposite gender, and, finally, a soft dare for us until the next time.

Do you think that career and achievements determine your identity and self-worth?

Do you compare your journey with others' growth and wonder why you are here?

Do you feel stuck often?

Do you feel numb and absent in the world running?

Do you feel you are on autopilot, not knowing what you are doing?

Do you feel nobody understands you?

Do you keep blaming and complaining about why X did not happen?

Do you live in survival mode? I will tell you more about survival mode in future posts. But for your knowledge, it's a way to protect yourself from hurt because you lack the courage to face your inner reality.

If you are struggling with these questions in life, this blog is for us. And I say, 'us', because I am navigating this myself, but I wish to figure this out with you together.

You know, when your personality changes, your personal reality changes.

When you change internally, that is when things change externally.

It's okay to judge, overthink, avoid, label, take everything personally, be in loops, feel hopeless, victim-minded, and unfair. You are not weird for feeling this way.

What If We Let Go of This Completely? Unlearn The Noise, Learn Each Other, From Stereotypes to Soul Ties

Let me bring your awareness to something stated before.

For boys, how many of you think girls play mind games? They cheat, they give mixed signals, they are desperate, clingy, too emotional, and so on. For girls, how many of you think boys are not worth trusting, they have ulterior motives, they don't value you, and they ghost or shut down?

My god, guys, aren't we making life so complicated? Putting labels, questioning every act of kindness, looking at everything with suspicion?

Yes, experiences shape our understanding of life, but that does not mean we generalize. Don't you think so?

Can't we stop misreading presence for interest, confusing friendliness for attraction, and mislabeling softness for flirtation?

You know, clear communication and self-awareness take us a long way. I remember talking to my cousin; he's three years younger than me, but gave me a beautiful point that we should take note of.

He said, "Until and unless it's communicated, it's uncommunicated."

Why can't we do that?

Why do we keep cooking up inside and frying people outside?

Why can't we be clear about what we want and why?

And this is just one part of ourselves that I shared. I did that because until we boys and girls come together instead of judging each other, any inner development will always be one-sided. And I, being a girl, know boys are rational and smart.

One more to go, the last one. Career is certainly an important part of our identity, but it's not everything. Neither your relationships, partners, friends, nor family is everything.

You are what makes your life.

Just imagine, five years from now, sitting in your workspace, emotionally numb, doomscrolling, wondering why the hell my partner does not understand me, escaping by going on excursions and adventures, but only returning with not feeling anything within.

Are you not living your life this way, hoping that reaching the end goal will sort everything out?

But don't you think every end leads to a new beginning?

I feel identity building and self-exploration is one of the key cores of our life's foundation in our 20s and 30s.

Nothing has beaten that, nothing beats that, and nothing can ever beat that.

You know what? I heard somewhere that the biggest fear of life is not death; it's the fear of stagnation.

Every person you see up there started from where you are now. It's just that they reached their threshold early, and realized that I am done with living life this way, and now I want to change.

That is when they completely transformed, and you questioned them, asking, "What the hell happened to you?"

Do you look up to yourself the same way?

Do you want to become someone who shares their story to inspire others?

Remember, every master was once a disaster. And embarrassment is the cost of entry; if you are not willing to look like a foolish beginner, you will never become a graceful master.

So let's start now, you are never late. Can we stop comparing ourselves to others?

You're not a dot on someone else's GPS — you're the whole damn compass. Stop zooming out to compare.

The Bonus Task: Who Can Do This Soft Dare?

I told you the intention behind this blog, some perceptions about each other, now here's our soft dare.

Until we meet, let's make this a commitment to say thank you to a stranger every day. Smile, mean it, full heart mode unlocked.

What if you made a note of that daily?

I will post my thank-you count on August 20, 2025. No pressure, but if you are joining the vibe — let's check in on Instagram.

#1RealTYADay#ThankYouEnergy#Gratitude Drop

Believe me, you will experience the shift within you.

Let's start with a small step.

Soft Sign-Off. Real Return. Later, Legend

The lovely souls, messy but choosing to move and keep going, I am always proud of you.

Take things one step at a time. Move slowly but be steady.

It's okay, completely okay, to be at your own pace.

We are not in a race; we are players on a cricket ground, each with their strengths and imperfections, but together.

You are not alone in this journey. We are all together in this.

Can we pause being so indifferent that at the end of the day, all you have is a chaotic club of messy, foolish friends, a distressed relationship, a toxic career, and a frustrated, diseased you?

We don't want that, right?

Guys, we are an emotional ramen noodle bowl all locked and twirled. But I want to share that space with you, hoping for the same.

Because you know, it's said, "If you need to go fast, go alone. But if you need to go far, go together" — African Proverb

Sending you lots of hope, joy, strength, the right amount of chaos, and love all your way.

Love is beyond romantic connections hahaha. It's the idea of being human.

I am waiting for someone ready to jump into this ramen bowl with me and say, "Come on Gurleen, we will figure this out together; let's drown and rise together."

And I would be glad if any part of my blog resonated with you. Capture a screenshot and post it on your social media accounts, tagging me. My username is "gurleenkaur_.20." Hehehe, I am also a kid; I love being appreciated.

Soft sign-off. Real return. Later, legend.