Becoming mentally bulletproof could be the most valuable skill of all.

Because how you deal with adversity is the difference between a life of joy and a life of misery.

"Adversity is a mirror that reveals one's true self."

— Chinese proverb

Being "mentally bulletproof" means you can handle whatever comes in life. You might feel upset, but those emotions don't define you or control you. You're above the trivialities that bother others.

Being the opposite, however, means constantly being controlled by life. Your emotions will be a slave to what happens, and you'll respond with hasty reactions that can cause more problems.

Here are seven strategies — that people rarely do — to make yourself mentally bulletproof and withstand whatever comes your way.

1. Practice Adversity

"Set aside a certain number of days, during which you shall be content with the scantiest and cheapest fare, with course and rough dress, saying to yourself the while: 'Is this the condition that I feared?'"

— Seneca

It's not that life's problems are big; it's that we aren't always as big as life's problems. The bigger you are, the smaller the challenge.

For example, if you have an issue that's a 5 (on a 1–10 scale) and you can only handle a 3, that 5 seems massive. But if you can handle a 9, a 5 is nothing and ordinary issues — like a traffic jam — won't bother you.

The easiest way to learn is to practice adversity: Find ways to create difficult, challenging, uncomfortable, and even embarrassing situations in your life. Regularly forgo comforts. For example, I went four years without television or the internet in my home and I took icy cold showers for over a year just to train myself.

Also, find ways to bulletproof your emotions. This is a silly example, but I used to have an embarrassing subway card just so I could be teased for it and train myself to be ashamed only of what was actually shameful and to ignore criticism of lesser things.

You'll realize it wasn't so bad in the first place and you can thrive when the going gets tough.

2. Regularly Shake Things Up

"A good shock often helps the brain that has been atrophied by habit."

— Napoleon Hill

When people think about shaking things up, it means getting a new haircut or rearranging their furniture.

But that doesn't challenge you and force you to think in new ways; you'll quickly adapt and life will be the same as before.

Instead, really shake things up.

Take a long-term vacation to a different continent. Donate all your old wardrobe and get something completely different. Move to a new city. Lose 15 pounds. Take a language class for a few months.

When you try something new and challenging, you will feel uncomfortable and uncertain. Yet going through this makes you bulletproof because you'll learn how to thrive in new, difficult situations.

Our brains, after all, thrive on newness. That is the zest of life; not living the same exact routine for years and sleepwalking through existence.

You'll also gain more confidence in your life and have more experiences. Then, when you're confronted with new problems, you'll have more memories to use to overcome them.

Obviously, not everyone can move every few months. But when you find yourself in a rut, it's the perfect time for a challenge.

3. Fail More

"Mental resilience is arguably the most critical trait of a world-class performer, and it should be nurtured continuously. Left to my own devices, I am always looking for ways to become more and more psychologically impregnable."

— Josh Waitzkin

When was the last time you had a massive, cheek-burning failure?

Like getting rejected in a crowded subway? Investing a lot of time and money into a project and failing? Get your ass handed to you in a competition?

If it's been awhile — or you've never experienced something that strong — it's time to start failing a lot more.

The more you fail, the more comfortable you'll be with failure and the negative emotions that come with it. You'll learn to act in spite of the fear and the "sting" won't bother you as much. Then, once you experience a failure, become more bulletproof by trying again as soon as possible.

It's tempting to think about what happened and what you would've done differently, but nothing will replace facing your fears again; otherwise, the fear will control your behaviors, not the other way around.

Some people, however, are so coddled that they can't handle any minor negative emotion. Whenever someone disagrees with them, rejects them, or criticizes them, they get sad, "need space," etc.

Sure, they don't have to like it, but if they can't mentally handle anything negative, they'll get thrown off by everything in life.

"I'll have you know that I stubbed by toe last week and only cried for 20 minutes."

— SpongeBob SquarePants

4. Separate Stories vs. Fact

"When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened."

— Winston Churchill

We all tell ourselves stories almost daily and always seem to know exactly what someone is thinking.

Or do we?

The truth is most of what we tell ourselves is based on programming and beliefs, not the truth. The more we listen to stories, the more our emotions become erratic, not due to reality, but because of our opinion of reality.

Separate "fact" from "fiction" and focus on what's real and true. Challenge your assumptions. Is there another way to look at this situation? Here are some examples of stories followed by reality:

• Story: "Every time I do something, it seems like I always fail. I just can't get the breaks." Fact: "Can I say I've never gotten a break? Sure I have. Do I always fail? Nope. I'm resourceful and driven and my odds of success are pretty solid."
• Story: "Someone was rude to me — they did it because I'm Asian, a minority, short, etc." Fact: "How do I know that's true? I can't go inside their head. (And if they were rude for those reasons, that says a lot about their character.) Why am I making this person's opinion so important anyway?"
• Story: "People won't take me seriously unless I'm successful." Fact: "I can't say that for sure. My family and friends love me regardless. I treat people with kindness and respect and that's usually good enough."

If you stick to facts, you'll be able to handle much more of life's challenges because you're not adding to them. (You might even realize how much of life's challenges are self-inflicted.)

5. Argue Less And Learn To Be Okay Being Wrong

"The greatest menace to our civilization today is the conflict between giant organized systems of self-righteousness — each system only too delighted to find that the other is wicked — each only too glad that the sins give pretext for still deeper hatred and animosity."

— Sir Herbert Butterfield

Some people live off arguments. They constantly battle and argue their opinions and don't stop until everyone agrees with them (or they piss everyone off for disagreeing with them).

That, however, is not someone who's mentally bulletproof; that's someone easily bothered by other people's opinions and fixated on being right. Every dissenting opinion upsets them.

Yet they won't convince others how "correct" they are. And if they were really secure about their opinion, why do they need to argue? (Does everyone have to agree with them?)

The problem is many of us are terrified to be wrong. We've been taught our whole lives that being wrong is bad and reflects poorly on our self-worth and character. We get bad grades for being wrong. We're "stupid" if you're wrong. (On the other hand, being right is "good.")

But if we can't be okay being wrong (or having people think we're wrong), our ego will get trampled a lot. Anytime someone thinks we're incorrect, it's almost like a personal insult and we need to react to protect our ego. And chances are, even we do argue, we won't argue well because we'll be so emotional and upset.

Instead, be okay with someone disagreeing with you. Don't take it personally and try to "win" every argument (whatever that means). Don't be so attached to your opinions. That way, you'll be able to mentally and emotionally handle them with ease while everyone else gets triggered.

6. Stop Seeking Approval

"Until we accept and approve of ourselves, no amount of approval from others will keep us permanently secure."

— Joyce Meyer

If a person looks to others for self-worth or validation, life becomes a quest to prove themselves. But if they don't get the validation they're looking for, they become upset, feel frustrated, and feel less about themselves. (They might even become jealous of others.) The result? Their lives will be chaotic.

Many even chase their own standard of "perfection," one that will never be achieved because that definition will always change, leaving them falling short, and never being "good enough."

No level of achievement will make you worthy. No level of approval will make you worthy.

Start doing things for a reason that comes from within, not to influence how others perceive me. By ending the chase for approval and validation, you'll find yourself more mentally bulletproof than ever before.

My best advice to start: Post less on social media. Stop feeling the need to share every thought and event in your life with others in an attempt to get more likes, shares, and responses. Do more things for yourself and keep more things to yourself.

If no one knew you were doing something, would you still do it?

7. Embrace Your Mortality

"Don't behave as if you are destined to live forever. What's fated hangs over you. As long you live and while you can, become good now."

— Marcus Aurelius

Few things are so powerful as the constant awareness that every hour brings you to the final one — it puts you in the present moment, forces you to question every action (and reaction), and makes you value the limited you have on this Earth.

As you become aware of your mortality, the hardships of life don't faze you as much. Even when there's pain, anger, and sadness, realizing there's only so much time left makes it easier to enjoy life.

Regularly find ways to remind yourself of the impermanence of life.

And you'll be able to enjoy it a lot more.

If you want to upgrade your happiness, health, and success, and avoid sabotaging mistakes — get your 5 free life hacks here.