haha!!!

flashback to 4 years ago ,

my biggest insecurity was

"losing people i love."

don't call me immature please!It was really my nightmare,because we emotional people right??we get attached way too quickly and we never hurt others,so when we get hurt back.

then comes the realisation hour,

"omg ,i wasted my time on people like these."

could have done something better,productive and outcome yielding ,but no I chose to waste my emotions :(

In every relation (no romantic experiance so talking about platonics only)i opted on giving my 100% ,because this is how it has to be.

Give your best ,and leave the rest.

But eventually ,I became 'the rest',I was left!

for no reason at all,I lost my favourite set of people.I loved them truly,but their truths,their real sides,made me admonish my own instincts.

I often ask myself,

Did they ever love me back?Or did I ever matter to them even?was I just an option in their list?Was it all pre-planned by them about how to start acting cold with me after a while?

Are they like this with everyone or am I unworthy of love?Is it genuinly them being so busy(because if they are,I am more than elated that life is keeping them occupied with endless new opportunities and learnings) or are they just testing my patience??Does feelings for one special person turn so cold so quickly?

I won't defame them,since I can't blame them for their attitude even till date and moreover defamation leads to unnecessary scarring :|

But it was an awful phase,to feel that unworthiness for no reason at all.

sometimes i thought,to reconnect with them,my heart said each time,'reconnect,reconnect ,reconnect' Honestly I wanted to reconnect!

Because I thought,if my own 'approaching up' helps keep me happy,satiated then why not ..Later did I realise that

I was forcefully keeping something with me,which never really belonged to me..

And I accepted them,their behaviour ,their circumstances.

If they couldn't understand me,I can understand them,atleast this will let go of some hurt feelings…

I did let go most of them,

But one thing stayed,

This realisation,this feeling..

The Misery inflicted when detachments take place sometimes make you disbelieve in attachments for lifetime.

Anyway,I always knew that,

'Ache' and the 'ability to ace' go hand in hand.

Don't let this tough hour hover over you for so long,that coming out of it Becomes a challenge in itself,if you don't feel well for a while it is completely alright.But no one is worth deteriorating your mental peace for,not even your pain,your past bonds and your overlove ,over kindness and over empathy.

Believe in that one divine energy,

The one above all☺

Not everyone deserves you,not you deserve everyone.

So ,if you lose people in life, to protect your peace,just know,that it is valid to do so ☺

If you know,How to protect your peace 🕊️ trust me ,it is one less reason to protect your peace .

Losing is an art,And being happy after losing is a mastery in itself.

If not master😉atleast be an artist.

In anticipation of your support.

Once and for all (;

Siempre