For the most part, work sucks.

Yes, some people enjoy what they do for a living. It's even possible your work friends alone make the job bearable. However, most people would rather be doing something else than working.

There are several reasons we react this way: lack of fulfillment, feeling underappreciated or underpaid, or simply aren't interested in the company's goals. However, my time in the workforce has made clear the biggest problem. The number one reason people dislike their jobs is because of their boss.

There's an old cliché saying that arises when discussing job satisfaction:

People don't leave bad jobs, they leave bad managers.

It's a cliché for a reason. It represents the reality of employment.

Think about the tasks you dread most about work. Most of them involve your manager. Maybe they aren't empathetic or are a poor communicator. Maybe they steal credit for your hard work or talk down to you. Whatever it is, job satisfaction is directly tied to how someone feels about their boss.

As I moved up in Amazon, I noticed the correlation surrounding my happiness about work and who I was working for. One of the ways I learned how to be a good manager was to just not do the things that pissed me off when I was in my previous role.

It sounds simple, but a disturbing amount of promoted employees suddenly develop amnesia for what they hated before; they simply begin repeating the cycle.

I remember the first time I realized I could learn from my previous experiences to inform my new job.

As an associate, I remember commiserating with fellow associates about how we were treated at work. We were talked down to by one manager, yelled at by another, and even mocked by a third. One would give us a task and five minutes later a different one would take us away from the task — and eventually we were in trouble for not completing the first ask.

Our break times were dedicated to complaining about our bosses. When we went home, we complained about our bosses to our families.

Later, during my second week as a manager, a realization hit me… I was now going to be the reason my team complained during break and at home to their families each night.

That was an unsettling feeling. I knew I couldn't succeed in my job without managing my team's goals properly, but I also didn't want to be the reason my associates ruined a family dinner with yet another story about their crappy boss.

Eventually, I learned to be a good boss while keeping my team engaged and working. It boils down to three main themes:

Respect

Communication

Development

While these tips aren't the end-all-be-all ways to be a good manager, they are simple to implement today and go a long way in earning the trust of your team. These tips will start you on the path toward good management.

Respect

Respect their personal time

An easy tip to start with, but you'd be surprised how often it's ignored.

When someone is off the clock or has the day off, leave them alone! Don't text or call them. Don't email or send a chat message to them if there is any possibility they may see it on their day off.

If you're understaffed, that's unfortunate. Unless an employee has directly asked for overtime, don't message them. If you don't have enough people to hit your goals, that's someone's fault (maybe the company, maybe yours), but it sure as hell isn't their fault.

But Michael, it's just a quick text or phone call. It only takes them 30 seconds to answer…

That's the completely wrong mentality and that mindset misses the point entirely. When someone receives a message outside of working hours, it doesn't just take their time away when they answer it. It robs them of a workless mindset for possibly hours.

Once they see the message or hear the phone call, their minds move back into work mode. This means they have to disengage from their break time, something legally granted through their contract with the company, to interact with you. Then, work will linger in their mind for some indeterminate amount of time, especially if you're bringing them a problem.

Relaxation doesn't just happen immediately after clocking out or leaving the office. It takes time to stop thinking about work. And you rob them of this with your 'just one text.'

It's highly unlikely anyone is in physical danger, so there's no real reason they need to fix your problem on their off day.

As a last note: When a manager interrupts someone's personal time with a request, they are forcing their employee into a subordinate position on their off time. It can be hard for people to say no. Yes, you may be their manager when they are at work, but both of you are just people. It isn't your place to make them feel inferior to you ever, but much less so on their off days.

Just leave people alone when they are off.

Remember tidbits about them

This may feel like another easy one — it isn't hard to respect other people.

During work, people talk. It's human nature. Your team will likely talk to you about their personal life, which is perfectly fine (as long as it is work-appropriate).

When this happens, pay attention.

They're opening up and trusting you as more than just a boss when they talk about their lives. It's great news! Likewise, you should do them the courtesy of remembering what's going on in their lives. Make sure to follow up with them about these things.

Maybe you don't have the best memory; that's ok. If so, make a note to remind you later.

As an example, this last week, I had one of my employees call in sick, one is buying his first house with his girlfriend, and another lost power at their house for a few hours.

My memory isn't great and I'm busy; I also have my own life to deal with. I wanted to follow up on these things, but knowing myself, just remembering wasn't going to work.

So I cheated.

When I first heard about the upcoming house inspection, I put a reminder on my calendar to "Ask Brandon about house inspection" as a task to do on Friday. When my team member called in sick, I added "check on Ajay" to my calendar for the next day. Same for the power outage — "How are Matt and his wife after the power outage."

Then, I just have to review and follow my task list for the day. I'm unable to make a reliable mental note, so a physical one is perfectly fine.

Bill Clinton used a similar method for his networking strategy. He's said to have had more than 10,000 index cards with reminders about people he met. He would include their name and personal facts about them, so he could refer to them later. Regardless of how you feel about him, he was preternaturally skilled at getting people to like him (there is even a Family Guy episode dedicated to his charm).

All this is to say, when someone on your team tells you about their personal life, remember to ask about it later. It shows you value them and care about their lives outside of work.

Communication

Communication errors are most often your fault

A significant portion of the manager's job is to communicate information and work to their team. This also means one of their top priorities is to ensure the message is not only heard, but fully understood.

I've met many managers who assume the burden of understanding is on the employee.

Oh, they should have just asked a question if they didn't understand.

Wrong.

Check-in with them and make sure they're tracking every portion of the ask. It's often scary for employees to ask questions, especially if the way the manager delivers the message makes it seem simple or straightforward. They don't want to feel dumb or embarrass themselves in front of their boss. And if the information is delivered publicly, they especially don't want to appear dumb around their colleagues.

The same issue exists in school as well. Someone will have a question and they won't ask it because of fear or insecurity. Even though the clarification will help them and the others, it still won't get asked.

This isn't the employee's fault. If you, as the manager, don't make sure they know exactly what you're asking for or needing, that's your fault.

Ask if they have any questions (privately, ideally). Ask if it would help to explain it differently, or provide an example. You can even encourage them to meet with you shortly after they begin, to make sure they are headed in the right direction.

Whatever it is, make sure you provide all of the needed information as well as ensure it is understood fully.

A great practice is to bring up your preferred method of checking in with each team member when you first meet them. And, more importantly, ask them their preferred method of confirming communication was fully understood. It can be as simple as…

So, Emily, I'm really excited to start working with you and I wanted to make sure I start off on the right foot. I know communication errors can happen in the workplace and I want to make sure I don't put you in a position where you aren't 100% sure of what is expected. I like to encourage questions and check in a few days later to see if anything comes up. How do you prefer to confirm expectations?

Regardless of how you do it, ensure your team knows they can, and should, ask you for clarification if it is needed.

Over-communicate

This practice allows me to quickly gain the trust of every team I manage. It's simple and works every time. Unfortunately, most managers don't take the time to do this.

Tell them EVERYTHING that could pertain to them.

Let me add a caveat before you get up in arms about the tip. When it comes to confidential information, inappropriate information for your team to know (e.g., a coworker's performance issues), or anything they can't know, don't. However, that covers a shockingly small amount of information.

Give them your plans, long-term vision, next steps after this one, and your goals for the team; basically, give them your "Why" as much as possible. Why are they doing this task? What will it add to the bigger picture?

Nietzsche has a brilliant quote around this topic:

He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.

This applies to work as well. Just sharing your bigger picture of the task can go a long way.

Don't be so close to the chest with information that doesn't need to be protected. Share what you can and be honest when you can't. Just give them more information.

Be clear about what frustrates you

This one can be challenging, but as long as you provide this information to your team ahead of time, it's often well received.

Few people want to piss their boss off. In fact, most employees spend much of their time worrying they may have accidentally made their manager mad. They often waste valuable work time trying to avoid possibly frustrating their boss.

I'm upfront with my team at the very beginning of our working relationship. I use the same speech for everyone:

Ok, I am going to give you a cheat sheet for me as a manager. Here are the two things that will frustrate me:

1. Making the same mistake twice. It means we didn't learn anything the first time.

2. When my boss asks me something I should know the answer to, but don't.

I know my team will make mistakes, especially when I encourage them to try new things. I have no problem with a mistake, it means we're learning. The reason I have a problem with the same mistake again is because they didn't use the first opportunity to grow and improve.

I make sure I don't express frustration at first mistakes (as long as they don't put anyone at risk), and the team respects me for being upfront in the beginning.

Regarding the second point…Many of my jobs have been based on information and clear communication. When I begin a new role, I inform my team what information I need to know and when. I also give them guidelines for when they should update me immediately if something happens within those parameters.

So, when my boss asks me a question, I want to know the answer before he asks me.

Being clear ahead of time takes a lot of pressure off your team. Sticking to your guidelines of what will frustrate you gains a large amount of trust with your team.

Make sure you share the situations that professionally frustrate you ahead of time and in a calm, even happy, mood.

And if your list is long (more than 5 or 6 items), that's a good opportunity to evaluate how you handle stress at work. Your team looks to you to guide them; nothing is more impressive in a leader than equanimity in a stressful situation.

Professional Development

Teach them exactly how to promote out of your team

This is another simple enhancement to manager skills often (sometimes purposely) avoided.

When you have a hard worker who would perform well in a higher role, even if that role isn't on your team, show them exactly how to get there. Don't selfishly prevent them from leaving your team because they make your life easier — that's not good management.

You shouldn't wait for them to start that conversation either. It can be awkward for your team to tell you that they want more out of their current role or team. Don't take it personally; everyone has aspirations. One of the main jobs of a manager is to do everything you can to help them move toward their career goal. Even if it's on a new team.

This isn't to say you should just try to get them a promotion just because they want it. Another significant part of the job is to make sure they are ready for those roles. If all you do is teach them the tricks to get in the door, they may well be fired for underperformance in their new role because they aren't ready for it.

Developing your team means challenging them. Give them tasks they can handle, but are hard to accomplish. Tasks requiring them to develop new skills or even become an expert in a new area.

Teach them everything you wish you knew when you were in their shoes. I was very lucky to have a manager who was open and took the time to teach me what I needed to know to succeed; now I make sure to do the same.

The best compliment you can get as a manager is for your team to get promoted away from you. And nothing will endear them more to you than you helping advance their career.

1-on-1 time is their time

I wish this was an easy tip, but it's very challenging for managers. When you have a specific developmental 1 on 1, that is not time to talk about current work/projects or, even worse, give them work.

1-on-1s are a time for your team members to pick your brain on certain areas of their goals. They can run their big-picture career dreams by you or even just where they would like to be in a year. Regardless of how they want to use the time, it's not your time.

Be prepared for development questions. Understand where they need to be to reach their goals.

They may even ask for work, certain projects, or meetings, but don't assign work in the 1-on-1. Follow up with them afterward and refer back to your discussion.

Hey Sarah. I wanted to follow up about our 1-on-1 the other day. I have this project that fits exactly with your goal of joining the tech team. It will help a lot for you to gain the skills to complete this project.

You gained trust by following up and by remembering a specific goal of theirs. Plus, they're even more motivated to work on that project than if you just gave it to them randomly.

Make sure you're prepared to give them constructive feedback as well. Be specific and non-judgmental. Everyone has areas where they can improve and the manager is meant to develop their team by being honest and helpful.

Finally, if they ask a question you don't know the answer to, just tell them you will have to follow up and get them an answer. Then…get them the answer and follow up!

Following up (for 1-on-1s and in general) with your team is one of the fastest ways to improve as a manager.

Ask what you can do or stop doing to be easier to work with

I end every developmental conversation the same way:

Is there anything I can do or stop doing that would make it easier to work with me?

Often employees aren't comfortable providing upward feedback. They think their boss will hold it against them later and it's not worth it. Sadly, this is true for some managers.

So, to avoid that, I ask a direct question, asking for specific actions I do (or should be doing) to be easier to work with.

The wording is important. I'm not judging them or myself. Being easier to work with is not a callout of incompetence on either side. It's simply asking for an opinion of their work-style preferences.

Often they don't tell me anything, but when they do, I ensure I fully understand what they mean. I ask questions (non-accusatorily) and try to fully grasp what they're telling me. Then, I work on it. And I follow up with them at the next meeting. I ask if I have improved at [whatever they said last time].

Being a manager is challenging. It isn't all fun and games; often it's damn hard. However, that doesn't give us an excuse to take it out on our team or not provide them the support needed for them to succeed.

Hopefully, these tips help provide some insight into your own management career. Even if you already do all of these, review your management style and take stock; where can you improve?

Being a good manager is like being a good person — the work is never done and we can always get better.

What are some manager best practices you have learned over the years? Leave me a comment; I would love to learn more.