Ever wish your healing journey had a map that you could follow?

Well, this article just might have what you need!

Since healing is the process of improving your relationship with yourself, a step-by-step process wouldn't really do the trick.

Can you imagine reducing any relationship down to a one, two, three and then done-for-life process?

Relationships are ongoing. They flow.

In this article, you're going to learn the general flow of healing — of improving your relationship with yourself.

And you're also going to learn about the number one healing modality that actually improves your relationship with yourself: Parts Work.

Parts Work 101

It's near common-knowledge now that your inner world (or your pysche) is actually a whole ecosystem of different parts of you that are all playing different roles that help you navigate your day-to-day life.

If you could peer into your mind, you wouldn't see empty space. You'd actually see different parts of you hustling and bustling around, all playing different roles, doing their best to help you get your needs met.

Parts Work is the work of actually talking to your parts and helping them work together instead of fight against each other. The reason Parts Work is so powerful is because once your parts finally start working together, all their energy gets amplified and you have the feeling like you are unstoppable and free.

I've seen Parts Work completely transform the way people experience their life — from sobbing in bed all day to nailing two promotions in 9 months. Not to mention what it's done in my own life.

Parts Work is a big deal.

(If you haven't heard of Parts Work yet, ya really got to get on that train because it will change your life in all the ways you're needing. This article is a great place to start.)

The General Flow of Parts Work

Here's a simplified map of the general flow of Parts Work:

Gain awareness of your parts

You start by gaining awareness of your parts. This includes things like being able to identify your parts, becoming aware of when a part of you is present, noticing when you're seeing through the eyes of a part — things like that.

Befriend your parts

Then you build the skill of befriending your parts, which is about establishing an actual relationship with them, learning how to have an actual conversation with your parts, learning how to listen to them, learning the roles they play, their story and their motivation.

This stage is about relating to your parts more relationally and intimately than just psychoanalyzing them.

Building trust and leading your parts

Then you start the process of building trust with your parts and leading them through life. This includes getting to know them more, checking in with them more often on the day to day, understanding even deeper what needs they're trying to meet, and leading them into more effective ways to get those needs met.

Basically, building trust with your parts is the same as building trust with any other human. Think about what someone wants to do to build your trust. They're probably going to show up when they say they will, communicate frequently with you, ask you questions that make you feel like they are genuinely interested and that show you they love you.

My mentor, Paul Young, has this quote that goes, "You can't trust what you don't believe loves you."

Building trust with your parts really just boils down to loving them more and more powerfully, more and more unconditionally, and more and more consistently.

…And The Cycle Repeats

The more you build trust and lead your parts through life's challenges, you'll begin to become aware of either another part or your understanding of your parts will deepen. And then the cycle continues.

You're going to spend the rest of your life cycling through this. Because this is your relationship with yourself. It's the only relationship you're absolutely stuck with from the moment you're born to the moment you die. You might as well make it as fun and supportive as possible.

Every time you cycle through, you'll get better and better at loving your parts, and they'll trust you more and more, and you'll naturally experience more and more of your Essence.

This is a positive spiral.

It isn't something you complete once and then you're done. It is an ever-growing relationship that you are building with yourself, and it will just keep getting stronger, more connected, more unconditionally loving, and you'll become better and better at leading your parts through life.

Then Deep Inner Healing Happens

At some point, whether intentionally or spontaneously, your vulnerable parts will begin to release some or all of the burdens that they are carrying.

The more love you bring to your parts and the more trust you build with your leadership in your inner world, the more you will find opportunities to help your vulnerable parts unload the pain that they are carrying.

When your vulnerable parts feel safe to release their burdens, your protector parts are able to relax more — maybe even entirely because you are legitimately less vulnerable. Those wounds aren't there to be poked anymore.

Healing your vulnerable parts is truly powerful stuff. You'll never be the same again.

But the process of healing your vulnerable parts takes time, and it's really important you let the healing of your vulnerable parts unfold in the right way and in the right time.

Forcing things does nobody any favors, even if what you're trying to force is "healing."

How Your Vulnerable Parts Heal

Your vulnerable parts can heal through both intentional processes and by unintentional, spontaneous means.

My favorite intentional healing process is this shamanic release journey. I find it to be the safest and most robust form of healing I have ever experienced. It's a process I continue to revisit over and over again.

Healing your vulnerable parts can also happen spontaneously without any conscious effort and sometimes without any conscious awareness.

Sometimes deep inner healing happens so subtly and so slowly that your conscious mind won't even notice. And that's okay.

But whether it happens in intentional or unintentional ways, our vulnerable parts heal when they come in contact with unconditional love. Healing is what happens when love and your vulnerability meet.

So whether you try to intentionally heal your vulnerable parts or you focus on simply leading your parts into more and more love over time, you're going to be cultivating a really special inner world for yourself.

Meet Your First Part

You can get started with meeting your first part by downloading my free Meet A Part Of You Worksheet. It will walk you through the process of identifying a part and having your first conversation with it step-by-simple-step.

You can download it right here.

(Some folks have said this worksheet has completely transformed the way they experience themselves so…be prepared).

More Parts Work, Please!

You got it! Here are even more helpful Parts Work articles: