Beginning of Something?

Or just pause of the usual conundrum?

It sucks when everyday you try to be a better person,

Then a twig snaps - Then you are stuck in the same hole again.

Why is this like this?

Why is that like that?

They say Grow up, and Keep moving.

They say be an Adult and keep adulting...

Wait a minute - how about sins of my father, who bears it now?

I don't have a choice but to keep moving, it might be in the most crab-like fashion,

It might not be in your typical "Adulting" pattern,

It might not be something you will agree with or something that conforms to a traditional way

But here I am in my own strength.

They say it's Grace,

They say it's Faith,

Or living a Hope?

I reckon - why put a label to it, then fail me when I do otherwise.

It's none of those. I am just living and moving and thriving. In a way that I can muster right now.

Possibly someday it will get better..

Perhaps in the future I will be stronger in all aspects possible.

Or maybe all these are just dreams, the same way a poor, penniless human dream of hitting the lottery.

But who really knows?

Before I was and adult, my dreams are better than my reality.

So why play dream and hope?

It's so pointless.

Oh, don't get me started on therapy....