Public discourse about love and relationships has gotten more and more radical these past few years, especially online.

On one side, women complain men are immature and unable to commit. On the other side, men accuse women of being gold-diggers, and of competing for the top 20% of men while the remaining 80% slip by unnoticed.

(As interesting as the Pareto principle may be, blandly applying it to any and everything in life might not provide you with an accurate worldview.)

But what if women are indeed interested in successful men, and what if that's actually good news for the lads?

According to scientist and Tiktoker Macken (@mackenmurphy), data from all over the world points to women preferring men who show signs of high status, regardless of where that status comes from.

Yes, a good job and healthy finances are traditional signs of status that are easy to spot and quantify, but the key point here is that to be attractive to women you don't have to be wealthy, all you have to do is stand a few inches above the pack on something.

Macken's advice is sound: "If you're struggling with women, start building yourself into a man that other people can look up to."

In his words, "Pick a ladder and climb."

The power of being good at something

Ever noticed how that one classmate in high school used to pick up a lot of girls because he was the lead guitarist in a band? Or how the guy who made everyone laugh always had a girlfriend? Playing an instrument and working on your charisma (yes, charisma is a skill you can practice) are interesting places to start.

You can join a volunteering group or become a community leader. You can take up photography and share your pictures on Instagram, or you can practice a sport and start competing in local events.

Pick something you're good at (or think you can become good at), practice it, and find a way to display your talents out in the world. When women look for high status, they're often looking for something to admire in a man. They're looking for drive, determination, and perseverance.

We all want our partners to be special in some way. Wealth and looks are only two ways men can stand out, but there are plenty of other ladders out there to climb, all you have to do is pick yours.

As a bonus, you get to work on yourself and discover what you're capable of. As you go through the process of trial and error, you can work on building resilience; and as you slowly climb up the steps, you build up your self-esteem.

If you don't climb a ladder to get a partner, do it for yourself. Either way, you win.

Thank you for reading. If enjoy stories about love and relationships like this one, you might also enjoy my book. Acid Sugar is available for Kindle, and you can read it for free with your Kindle Unlimited subscription.