Life has been full of valuable lessons — some learned the hard way. If I could go back in time, these are 13 things I would tell my 20-year-old self to make the journey a little smoother.

1. Nobody Is Coming to Save You

As children, we're introduced to superheroes — people with extraordinary powers who save the day. We imagine we can be them, but as we grow up, reality sets in: there are no superheroes, and everyone has their own problems.

No one is coming to rescue you from the financial abyss, hand you a dream house, or magically give you knowledge or beauty. Even your wealthy acquaintances (including your spouse) aren't going to transfer their assets or success to you, and do not ever forget that. You must work for your financial independence. Do not let anyone tell you "What do you bring to the table?" when you know very well that all their self-worth and what they "bring to the table" is tied down to their financial success only (LOL). Do not let anyone look down on you from a financial perspective.

NOBODY IS COMING TO SAVE YOU!!!

Why? Because it's your safeguard: so you're never trapped in toxic relationships, reliant on others for survival, or forced to compromise your dignity just to get by.

If you feel that your education needs work, go get educated. If you feel you are lacking, GO and IMPROVE!

2. Life Goes On, No matter What

Whether it's heartbreak, a disastrous day at work, or a huge mistake, life moves forward. Yes, those experiences can feel devastating, but the Earth keeps spinning, and time heals. Allow yourself to feel those emotions, but don't let them consume you. Instead, view these moments as opportunities to start fresh, and get wiser from the experience. Better things are yet to come.

3. Choose Your Hard

Every path comes with challenges. Choose laziness and mindlessly scrolling through social media, and you will struggle to pay the bills. Choose hard work and productivity, and you'll face stress and fatigue.

Indulge in your sugar cravings, and you'll risk poor health. Choose to eat healthily, and you'll have a strong body but you miss that instant gratification.

No matter what, life is hard. Choose the hard that leads you to something better.

4. How You Look Matters — A LOT

We often hear, "It's what's on the inside that counts", but that's only half the truth. People make quick judgments based on appearance. As a matter of fact, it is the 1st judgment that supersedes all else. It's a reality of human nature.

Looking good won't replace talent or intelligence, but it will open doors. The world is visual, and your appearance influences how people treat you, including romantic partners and colleagues. So, while focusing on personal growth, don't neglect your appearance.

This applies especially to your romantic partners. Beauty is everywhere. However, if you do let yourself go, get fat, and stop taking care of yourself, you best believe that they won't treat you the same way as they did initially (especially if you did put in a lot of effort in the beginning).

5. Consumption of Social Media Is a Waste Of Time

Mindless scrolling on social media is one of the easiest traps to fall into, but it drains your time and attention without adding value. Social media platforms are designed to hook you, so limit your usage. It's no coincidence that Facebook, Instagram, & TikTok are free. You can't achieve your dreams if you are spending hours every day scrolling.

6. Overconsumption of Self-Help Content Won't Change You

The world is overflowing with self-help content, but consuming it endlessly won't improve your life unless you apply the advice. Choose a few reliable sources, and focus on implementing their strategies. Remember, change happens through action, not just knowledge.

Change happens through action, not knowledge.

7. The 3-Strike Rule

If someone disrespects you three times, it's time to reevaluate the relationship.

• First time? Could be a mistake.
• Second time? Maybe not a pattern, but issue a final warning.
• Third time? It's a pattern. Cut them off or severely limit your interactions for your own mental well-being.

8. Know your Kryptonite

Self-awareness is critical. Sit down with yourself and try to answer the following questions:

• What triggers your worst habits?
• What distractions break your productivity?
• What situations make you regress into the worst version of yourself?

Identify these things, reflect on a quarterly basis, and make conscious choices about who you want to be every day.

9. We're All on Our Own Timelines

It's easy to compare your life to others but remember that everyone is on their own unique journey. What works for someone else may not work for you, and that's okay. Don't rush. When you're ready for certain things, they'll come — each with their own set of responsibilities.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

10. Learn When To Quit

There's no honor in sticking with someone who's harming you just to maintain appearances. Whether it's a job, a relationship, or any type of commitment, if it's harming your self-worth, don't be afraid to walk away.

Quit early, fail fast, and move on.

You may like your new story better than the previous one.

11. Privacy Is a Luxury

You don't owe anyone access to your life. Except for a few trusted friends & family members.

People often either:

• Feel threatened by your progress, seeing you as a competition. They might try to discourage or undermine you.
• Use what you share against you, especially in moments of conflict. This happens more often than not.

Though many people may seem kind, not all of them have our best interests at heart. Protect yourself by keeping your matters private.

12. Start Now, Why Wait?

If you have a goal or habit you want to cultivate, don't wait for the "right" time — whether it's Monday, the start of the week, next month, or next year. If you're serious about it, you'd start now.

If you wanted to, you would.

Waiting for a perfect moment is an excuse. It won't be any different later. Start now — whether you're tired, heartbroken, or unmotivated. Just begin. Why wait?

13. If You Are Not Ready To Settle Down, Don't

People settle down for different reasons but don't choose a path just because it's convenient. Don't commit to something unless your heart is fully in it.

If you're not satisfied with your current job and believe there's something better for you, pursue it. Don't let others pressure you into accepting a life you're not content with.

If it's not the life you've envisioned for yourself, don't settle for what's easy. Keep moving forward, keep chasing your dreams — you're never too old to achieve them.

With all this in mind, despite the many mistakes I've made, I remain hopeful for the future. Life is a continuous journey of growth, and I'm eager to unlearn the self-destructive habits I've built over the years, embrace the positive ones, and keep learning along the way.

Hopefully, these lessons will help you too. Feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions!