TRANSGRESSIVE THURSDAY | RELIGIOUS SATIRE

When Pinky was born Lucifer and Lilith rejoiced like kindergarten kids who got a glucose injection. Pinky was their precious child. Pinky was their angel and demon.

The mating of angels and demons was a major taboo. It was the Prime Command of their old man Yahweh. Lucifer and Lilith broke it out of Love. Their father never gave his blessing.

Pinky had the best traits of her parents. She was born, as her name suggests, with pink hair. Ιt soon became clear she was very powerful. Stronger than any demon, angel, perhaps archangel too.

Was that the reason Yahweh forbade such a union? Her parents wondered. Did he fear such a child would surpass even him in might? That was soon put to the test.

The almighty God started sending assassins after Pinky. He directed them to surprise her when she was playing in the lava fields of Pandemonium, away from the safety of her home where Lucifer would wipe them out.

One by one the assassins failed. Even a lower grade archangel, backed by two Seraphs, failed to accomplish their mission. The Seraphs were obliterated by Pinky's heavenly hellfire/light. The archangel barely escaped in one piece.

When he reported to the Big Boss the old man got worried. There was that pesky ancient prophecy he was wary of:

"When the first offspring of an angel and a demon is spawned the Kingdom of Heaven will gain a new ruler."

In the meantime Lucifer and Lilith started to get seriously pissed off by the assassins their father sent after Pinky. They discussed whether they should curfew her for her protection or watch her discreetly from a distance, intervening if necessary.

They chose the latter. They were proud of their daughter after she defeated the lower angels, those two Seraph pests and even archangel Uriel. They'd hate to cut her wings or be helicopter parents. They were also aware of that prophecy.

By the time Yahweh decided to send the big guns after Pinky she had grown fully. She was now a YA woman, but still looked like a teenager. By now Yahweh was desperate.

He sent all three of his most powerful archangels at once, Michael, Gabriel and Raphael, commanding them:

"Deliver her ugly pink-haired head to me or don't return at all. If you fail you're banished from Heaven. Don't worry about the power vacuum, I can replace you."

Lucifer was enraged when he sensed his three younger siblings entering his domain uninvited. That was a violation of their protocol.

He knew how dangerous they were. He could handle each separately but not all three at once. That was proper bullying. So he swiftly flew to his daughter's location, holding Lilith in his arms.

But Pinky gestured them to stay back, with an open palm.

"It's OK. I've got this. Hey winged assholes! Think you can take me? Give it your best shot!"

Gabriel, Raphael and Michael smirked at each other. They unseathed their Holy Light swords and attacked Pinky, who was unarmed. She closed her pink eyes, concentrated, drew power from both Heaven and Hell and clapped her hands.

She unleashed an immense wave of energy that swatted away all three archangels like bugs. They were never seen again, and by some accounts they were lost in the Void.

Then Pinky looked up at the sky and shouted with a voice that made both Heaven and Hell tremble:

"Hey asshole! Yeah, I'm talking to you grandpa! I'm right here! If you want me come and get me! Stop sending your henchmen like a coward and face me!"

With the entire Heaven and Hell listening Yahweh could not lose face. He teleported right in front of Pinky. He tried godsplaining her:

"Listen to me you little shit. I am God. I was born along with the Universe. I am as old as time itself. Who the fuck do you think yo…"

Pinky formed a bullet made of compacted Holy Light and Hellfire and shot it via her pinky finger between Yahweh's eyes. Yahweh died on the spot. Hell, Heaven, Earth and the rest of the Universe trembled for a few seconds but then got back to business.

"I believe there's an empty throne waiting for us at the Silver City. What say you folks? I'm bored here."

Lucifer and Lilith were shocked, then smiled.

"We raised such a beautiful lil devil, didn't we dear?" Lucifer said. "We sure did darling. We can mourn our father later. You know moving out always stresses me."

Inspired by the infernal and 💯 transgressive TV show and graphic novel Preacher.

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Another transgressive tale of mine:

And a poem I enjoyed by Ruth Boukhari: