I returned to Tokyo after finishing my studies in Denmark. After passing through the forest of buildings and people in central Tokyo and I walked into a residential area. At that moment, I strongly felt "I'm back home."

I walked along a street lined with small, well-kept houses in the early evening. Light leaked from the windows, but it was almost impossible to see inside any of them. Most curtains are tightly closed and many houses had walls or fences in front of the them. There should be many people living within a 100 meter radius, but I couldn't feel their presence.

And this is, I believe, is the true nature of loneliness in modern Japan, particularly in Tokyo.

Japanese culture has a clear boundary between the "inside"(Uchi) and the "outside" (Soto or Yoso). We even have a saying "Outside is outside, inside is inside.(Yoso-wa-Yoso, Uchi-wa-Uchi)." This means there is a line between the public and private spheres, but it also implies that "the outside world should stay outside".

I agree with the travellers who say that Japanese people are very kind and do not discriminate. I believe this is because, we see visitors simply as people "from the outside." We don't focus on outside people's nationality, background, skin colors, sexuality. You are just you "from the outside". We are raised to be kind to people from the outside, but we view them as separate from our "inside" world.

This "Outside and Inside" culture is also visible in Japanese architecture. When I walked around in Denmark, I noticed that many people keep their curtains open. I could see inside and feel their lifestyle and cherished moments just by looking through the windows. But in Japan, this is unthinkable. We have curtains, and many houses even have fences in front. In addition, some of the houses install "rain doors( called Amado)" to protect windows from wind and rain. These are sliding shutters, so when people close the windows with rain doors, not even light from the house leaks outside. There are many physical layers between the private home and the public street.

Moreover, this culture extends even to the afterlife. Typical Japanese graves have low stone fences or lines separating them from others. It is proper etiquette not to cross into another poeple's grave space. So, when I visited to Skogskyrkogården( The Woodland Cemetery) in Stokholm, I was very surprised. The atmosphere was completely different from Japanese cemetery. There were no boundaries between the graves, and I felt like a comuunal space, as if the spirits were socializing togegher in the afterlife.

While studying in Denmark,I've learned the importance of respecting others many times. In my experience, the Japanese educational system focuses on kindness and discipline for social harmony, but barely explains what "respect" actually is. Through studying abroad, I finally understood the essence of respect and clarified the difference between "respect" and "indifference."

These two words are completely different, but in terms of how we treat others, the result is the same: "no discrimination"and "no aggression."

Japanese people tend not to attack others, which makes many foreigners feel safe and comfortable. However, this often comes from "indifference toward the outside", not from "respect for others."

I think this leads to the impression that Japanese people especially living in Tokyo are kind but cold-hearted or they don't truly relate to you. Of course, people have no malice, but just haven't been taught this concept of respect.

Furthermore, people don't show our private life and inner thought. You can't physically feel a human presence even in residential areas. This is why safety and loneliness exist at the same time. People who move to this peaceful country, especially to Tokyo, often struggle with lonlieness. I believe this stems from the complex Japanese culture of "Inside and Outside" which is intensified in the city.

Even my own "cold" Japanese heart was warmed by the interaction with my Danish friends. Now, I'm struggling to find a way to keep this warmth alive here in Tokyo.