I'm unsure how this will come out, so bear with me. I'm processing even as I share this experience with you all. If you've read any of my other work, you know that soul evolution through soul connection has been a large part of my spiritual path.

I always acknowledge that it's just one singular path of many — but it is a particularly challenging path, one most souls don't choose. And for good reason. It can be incredibly painful.

I've explored the energetics of separation before, diving deep into concepts like duality and polarity, these fundamental building blocks of our physical reality. What I didn't do was explain the experience, what separation feels like.

I think this was, in part, because I didn't see any use for it. How could it help to describe the never-ending grief, the ache in my bones, the sinkhole at the center of my chest? What good would that do anyone?

I realized, though, that there is value in just sharing the experience, if only so someone out there feels less alone.

When we meet soul connections, there is often this sense of familiarity, comfort, and safety, right? We feel seen. We feel connected at a much deeper place than mere personality.

And often the first points of contact — the first few times we spend time together — are blissful. There's an ease to our interactions. Communication flows. There's effortless intimacy.

But at some point, and with some connections this point comes quicker than others, that ease begins to break down. There's conflict, triggering, or some sort of power struggle. The energy is too intense to maintain bliss forever.

We go our separate ways.

Now, this "separation" could be temporary. It could be hours or days, weeks or months (or years). It could be a virtual distance that you take. It could be physical distance that you take. But what you're actually trying to get is energetic distance.

First, there's relief. God, that agitation, the triggering, the way they just got under your skin is gone. Blessed relief. But only for a second. Because soon comes pain.

The soul remembers so the body reacts.

In that brief period of connection, my soul got a taste of what it means to be home.

And it's not only a feeling. I believe these connections are with us at the beginning, back in the primordial womb, born alongside at our soul's inception.

My soul got a glimpse of Union. And when we pulled apart, my soul was shocked by the sudden plunge back into separation consciousness.

It's not just separation from a person I'm experiencing. It's separation from God (/Source/Universe/etc.). The pain of that is immense.

It feels heavy, like being weighed down by concrete and dragged in an undertow.

It's exhausting. Breathing is hard. Life just feels less alive — the world is drained of color.

My body aches everywhere, it hurts down to my bones. If I didn't know any better I'd think I had some kind of autoimmune disease — that my body was attacking itself from the inside.

It's like my soul protests existence apart from the whole. It forgets, for a time, that it chose this.

I haven't found a cure, I'm sorry to say. I think, in time, with enough distraction, we become less aware of the feeling, but there are still moments where it will hit me all over again.

This is the deepest wound of humanity. Separation. We all walk around simultaneously One and fragmented all the time. So, we all walk around grieving just a little bit all the time.

I think the only tools available to us in these moments are surrender and acceptance.

❤

Much love and thanks for reading. I hope it serves someone.

If you want to talk more about these experiences (twin flames, soulmates, karmics, awakening by way of them, etc.), feel free to drop a comment.

I love sharing down there.