MIGRAINEUR STORY

After randomly freelancing for 36 months, a job I couldn't say no to appeared. It had the trifecta: interesting work, local, with great benefits. As excited as I was, I was also terrified… it wasn't like anything else had changed. I still had a migraine every day. I was still incapacitated a couple of times a month.

But I wanted the job. I applied. I got it. Shiver — equal parts excitement and terror!

The Prep Work

I'd written here about working with migraines and navigating HR and bosses before, but I was rusty at advocating for myself.

My last two office jobs were both for small businesses where the owner knew my situation. This would be different. No one knew me here.

On my application, I had checked the disability box, which I'd never done before. Then I began my research — I started with the Job Accommodation Network (JAN) to identify common accommodations. The site listed them both by limitation & job function. Under each issue, there is a section on recommended products and strategies.

I identified the issues that were most likely to occur and saved the relevant links for later reference. I hoped everything would go smoothly, but the organization was a big unknown. I didn't know anyone who worked there to ask about what the work environment actually was.

The Migraine Elevator Speech

Another thing I worked on was my pitch. I tried different versions of it in the car on the way in every morning — like…

I just want to let you know that I have a disability. It makes some days harder than others, but I've been dealing with it for over a decade and know how to naviagate the health issues along with geting my work done. There are things I do to I just wanted to be open. Let me know if you have any questions.

Reassuring, open, straightforward.

Or…

I just wanted to talk to you about my migraines. I've had them for most of my life, and they usually don't interfere with my work. But you know, occasionally they do. I manage them with diet, yoga, meditation, and great meds. I work hard to be transparent about them and….

Different variations for the first week and a half.

I also worked on phrases to use if my migraine went critical during a meeting. Or if people saw me throwing back a handful of pills. Or… because I'd learned not to let others make up stories (see the article linked above) but preempt any story that might start simmering in my colleagues' brains. Own my story and control any narrative that grew around me.

The Boss Talk Just After

I tried to do it the other way around… but that didn't happen.

So, I had the boss talk. And that too went well. He asked me if I didn't mind saying what my illness was. I said migraines. And he, like most people, had a family member with them… and friends. After all, 43% of women and 18% of men will experience migraine in their lifetime (Gender-related differences in migraine, 2020).

We briefly chatted about how I work around things — focusing on projects, writing, and editing on good days, and leaving administrative tasks for bad ones. He seemed curious but unfazed. I kept my tone direct, and when we discussed how I handle the bad days — upbeat. They happened, but I wouldn't let anyone down.

Accommodations Conversation

I knew this was coming.

HR already knew about my migraine. Now it was time to request an accommodation. Although I didn't know what it would be. In the end, it turned out to be a HEPA air filter in my office to mitigate some of the smells in the basement. I was nervous asking (terrified, actually) only to find out that the HR human was a bit nervous too.

I rehearsed the words I would say in the car on the way to the office that morning. I'd prepared a list of three different brands of HEPA air filters, each appropriate for the square footage, ready to email him if the conversation went well. Thankfully, it did.

He was kind. And told me this was an easy thing to do. Given COVID and human nature, I can only imagine what other accommodations people have asked for.

And Now?

Things are still going well.

It's almost time to change the HEPA filter on the air filter again. Turns out my office mate has asthma, and the filter has helped him too.

Over time, the stress about how people would perceive me diminished. The narrative was set. I was a migrainer who was good at my job, fun to work with, and reliable.

Eventually, my boss and I worked together on the approval process to allow me to work from home one day every week, as much to give me dedicated writing and editing time as it was to manage my migraines.

No one seems to mind if I'm late or leave early, as long as I complete my projects — which says a lot about the organization. Colleagues are supportive of my quirks. It is nice to be treated like a competent grown-up. I've worked in my share of places that don't.

The Migrainer Back to the Office Road Map

When changing companies or positions within a company, it's good to have a map so you can prep for navigating the waters.

Be Upfront — Mention your disability from the beginning; this helps protect you. That check box on your application, check it.

Be Honest — Talk to your boss and HR. Your first 1:1 with your boss is a good best practice. Be honest, direct, and confident.

Be Prepared — Both for what you might need in the way of accommodations and what you may have to do to educate others.

And Practice — Few of us get the words right the first time. It is a great way of helping dial down any emotions from nerves or past experiences.

And remember, every time a Migrainer is transparent about their disability, direct, confident, sets expectations, and sets boundaries. That's a win for everyone with disabilities, normalizing that being disabled does not make you unable.

~ Tess