Lately I have been watching the survival show "Alone" on Netflix.

For those unfamiliar, they take 10 survival experts and drop them off in 10 remote locations in northern Canada with only the clothing on their backs and 10 selected items (think a tarp, a bow, a hatchet, a knife, a pot… that's half your non-clothing items already!).

The one who lasts the longest wins $500,000. The record is 100 days.

In the episode I watched last night, a contestant spoke about how he had wondered about how the loneliness would effect him, but had found that (so far) he had not felt particularly lonely. Not as lonely as he had felt at other times in his life.

And I sure related to that.

The loneliest I ever felt wasn't the times I was most alone. And there have been multiple times in my life where I have been very isolated and not spoken to people more than a couple times a week.

Yet, those are not the times I recall as being desperately lonely.

Loneliness (in my experience) gets you when other people are around, but you feel disconnected from them.

If you are alone, you can imagine that if there was a person there, they would connect with you.

If you aren't alone, but you are disconnected, that's when it gets you.

When you are with other people, but feel that you have to hide your thoughts, feelings, dreams, and fears — that's the loneliest lonely.

And I believe that THAT is why there is an epidemic of loneliness in modern society — not because we are physically isolated from each other, but because so many people feel that they must hide everything that is true.

I don't have the answer to the loneliness epidemic, I only know that simply being in the presence of other people isn't it.

Somehow, we have to feel seen, valued, and accepted for all of who and what we are. And that's tough to find.

I hope you are all well, and that you are not lonely.

Life is better with you in it, and you matter, even on days you don't feel it.