There is an interesting saying in one of the robust African cultures. It is interpreted like this — the honey that is in the crevices of hills and mountains is the sweetest and that is what people keep chasing. This phenomenon is mostly applied to relationships — the guy is chasing her, she doesn't notice him. He stops chasing and moves on, now she is interested. Funny how that works.

What does this have to do with the honey in the mountain? It is hard to get! Most people are focused on getting things that are hard to get. They are embracing challenges. They put all their emotions in the getting of that thing. They care so much about it. They can tell you everything about it. But it stays out of reach.

But the moment they don't give a pinch about it, the thing just falls on their laps. They don't want it anymore and now it is begging for attention. The same attention you lavishly poured on it when you were chasing it. How does that work though?

Chasing Money

Let's say you want a million dollars. For some that will be a lofty goal. For others, that is way below your current reality. But let us accept that as an example. You want a million dollars.

If someone sets a million dollars in front of you, the question shifts from "what can I do?" into "what can I not do?"

You want that million dollars that you can do almost anything to get it. Even many will step over their moral code just to get their hands on the money. The money is a big deal to them. It will make a huge difference in their lives.

They can already envision the new car they'll buy with the money. They have already sighted the new neighborhood they will be moving to. They have their wishlist loaded and people they are about to impress. And this is the state they live in every day.

Every sound they hear, they go "is it a million dollars?"

The money goal has them hooked. And this is not a bad thing. It's just that this attitude gives the bragging rights to the money. Since you are so obsessed about it, that is making it hard to get.

Let's use "she" for "a million dollars" for a bit.

She knows you want her, so she ignores you. She enjoys the attention she gets from you. She knows she won't get the same level of attention if you had enough of her. So she tries to stay away as often as she can. She hides in the crevices of the mountains…

…Until you stop caring.

Here is the big question: Can you be presented with an offer of a million dollars and walk away?

Walk-Away Power

Most people are accustomed to getting a NO for an answer. But they are not built to say NO. How can you possibly say NO to a million dollars? It sounds crazy.

The offer is juicy. Everybody has weighed on the matter. They all agree somewhat. The decision is down to you. This is what you have waited for your whole life! But something is off. And you can project it forward that it is going to create a huge future problem. But hey, it's a million dollars on the table.

The beautiful thing about being able to turn a million dollars down you instantly become greater than the money. Now the money is beneath you. Now she has to beg for your attention.

If you are not big enough to walk away in the sight of a million, then you are too small to walk away with the million dollars.

Think about that.

Money Pitches

I have heard all kinds of pitches — both as the one making the pitch and the one hearing the pitch. And this is an assumption many people make. They think that the one who is hearing the pitch is greater (at least, financially) than the one making the pitch. Dead wrong.

If I am pitching you, I am also interviewing you. I watch you. There are subtle signs I see and I say to myself, "I don't want that kind of person connected to my life or business in any way". It doesn't matter if they have a billion dollars.

I was on a call recently and noticed one of those triggers. Now, I am a generous person and waits till someone makes a mistake twice before judging. If someone makes the same mistake twice in a row, that is not a mistake. It is a habit!

The question then becomes — do I want to live with that habit? As much as I love a luxurious life, I don't like stupid problems. Some problems make you grow and expand. Other problems are just damn stupid. I try to avoid as much as I can.

So, sometimes you wait. You lie in wait for an opportunity to shove a million dollars at someone's face. "Thank you for the kind offer, but we pass".

You just stop caring about the money. Not because you don't want it or you don't need it anymore, but because you are so confident that you are the kind of person that gets that amount of money. And you would not tolerate any foofoo from someone just because they have the cash and you don't.

Of course, you may come back to an agreement and take the cash. But you must first demonstrate your authority over it. You state how you want to live and work. And if they won't dance to that tune, you walk.

Stop Caring

How do you become friends with the prettiest girl in class? Treat her like someone who is not special. Not out of hate or anything like that, but out of "not caring about her beauty". But how can you do that when you can't but stare?

You discipline yourself not to stare. A million dollars is just like a hundred dollars on the inside. Give it the same attention that you give a hundred dollars. You have tons of hundreds, yes? So you must be doing something right to get tons of it.

Do you wake up in the middle of the night thinking of how to make a hundred bucks? You know where to get it! You can ask a few friends and they will lend you a hundred bucks.

• You know they have it
• You know they can lend it to you (because you are not the first person they will lend it to)
• You know you have a relationship on which you can base the asking
• You know they believe you are in a position where they can get the money back at the appointed time

That's it! Now, look through that list again with a million dollars on your mind.

You don't know any friend that has a million? Then go make one! You may be thinking, "where do I go to make friends with someone who has a million dollars?"

Well, I have an idea. There is someone I know that anybody can make friends with who has a million dollars. And interestingly, that person has a house in every city in the world. In fact, he has a house in almost every town.

Let me give you a bigger secret…

His house is open to the public. Anybody can actually walk into his house and make friends with him. You can build a relationship with him and one day ask him for a million dollars. Of course, I won't tell you the name of this person. That is a secret.

But I can tell you what his houses are called, so you will recognize them next time you see them. They are called…

BANKS

You didn't see that coming, did you?

The Less You Care

I love to help people. I do many things for free. But when people want to work closely and can afford how expensive it is, they think it is automatic for them. Which is nice because jaws drop when I turn it down. If I see that I am not going to enjoy working with someone, even if they have a gazillion dollars, it's a turndown.

But it's often done in a classy way. Maybe I should be less classy about that.

But the deal is to care less. Stop trying to impress anybody. If they like you, awesome! If they don't, still awesome!

The money often goes to the one who is not trying to impress

You would be surprised how much money will show up at your door when you stop trying to impress people. Don't get this wrong — you should have a standard. Be your best self. But don't go over the top for anyone. Your being nice will hurt you.

When you do good things, do them because they come from your heart. Don't do them because you want to be nice to someone or impress someone. The less you care, the more the money rolls in.

Making Mistakes

Contrary to popular notions, I believe in perfection. I won't share why here. But I do believe in perfection. The difference is that I think of perfection differently than most people.

Perfection is not about doing things perfectly. Instead, perfection is calling perfect the imperfect thing you did.

Amateurs try not to make mistakes. The pros call their mistakes innovative thinking

If you understand this simple idea, you will be so rich and successful. This is what all successful people do!

Amateurs say, "sorry, it is slanted"

Pros say, "it is beautifully designed to be inclined at certain angles, one of which is 23 degrees to the north which then allows it to absorb maximum sunlight between the hours of 12 pm and 3 pm".

Isn't that a lie? Who says it is? Have you made the research and concluded otherwise? That is just a crude example, but the pros don't lie (because that will create problems later). The pros come up with the nearest truth that is in alignment. And they do that fast.

Only people who care try to do things perfectly. And they are the ones that get dejected when they get turned down. Don't try to please anybody even if they've got a billion dollars. Never take anything personally. It's just money.

It feels good to be highly respected while you are getting paid. Choose to do business with only people who respect your conditions.

Conclusion

This has been partly a rant. Inspired by real events. I hope it has inspired you also.

Never work with someone just because they have the money. You have walk-away power. You should use it. Don't accept disrespect.

The less you care, the more the money rolls in.

I rest my case. (And maybe pick it up later).