"Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness." — Brené Brown

Vulnerability isn't an easy thing to allow or admit. It's just as difficult to talk about.

To let another person see us vulnerable is to give them a measure of power over us, because it means they now know something that can hurt us in some way. That is a scary thing and most of us run away from scary things.

Yet, we were all children at one time and experienced true vulnerability even before we were old enough to name the feeling.

Someone else was responsible for meeting our basic needs because we couldn't do that by ourselves. We depended on those caretakers for everything and we learned quickly how to manipulate our environment.

By the age of 2, most of us learned how to say "No!", which is a child's way of asserting a measure of control.

As the adult in the situation, did the child become less vulnerable? Not really. It's just a measure of perception, since an adult can enforce rules, demand obedience and mete out punishment for rebellion.

Does saying "no" to keep control still work when you're an adult? Absolutely. But there's another way to retain control:

Keeping control in a vulnerable state

While it's true that the possibility exists for others to take advantage of us if we show vulnerability, there is also the chance that others will feel an even stronger emotional connection to us in a vulnerable moment.

When we admit that we're having a difficult time with a feeling, a situation, or a mental health issue as honestly as telling someone we have a headache, we normalize it.

Keeping it hidden is what gives it power.

You can still be in control by being in charge of when and with whom you share your vulnerability.

If someone you care about is having a vulnerable moment, take the time to consider your response before you react. Someone is trusting that you will understand, support and encourage them through what may be a difficult time. This is not the time to tease or make light of the situation, because this could shut down future communication and damage the relationship.

Josué Sánchez remarked that talking about what you feel with someone who understands is a relief:

However, there was also a bit of relief in hearing her talk. I don't know how to explain it, but I felt understood, which is huge for my mental health. Not feeling alone went a long way. It gives me a tad of extra strength to finish the day, well, alive.

This is also why I keep writing. Being so vulnerable…is not easy

It's okay to be vulnerable. We're all feeling a little vulnerable these days. Remind yourself of that when you're in public places. See all of those people around you in the grocery store? Most of them are feeling vulnerable about something, and most of them are doing their best to hide it. It's a major contributor to stress.

If we all act just a little kinder, speak a little more softly, you might just be easing someone's stress.

I wish you peace.

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