SAD, BUT NOT TRUE
They're thinking about calling it Auntie Jew. If that moniker founders, then it'll be Heebie Jeebies.
YIDS-Я-US was briefly considered, but ultimately rejected as being entirely too clever.
Lids-4-Yids, Beanie Bubalas, Himey's Hats, Caps N' Kikes, and more, were considered but rejected as being too Jewy.
Regardless, something needs to be done to prop up the sagging fortunes of the fearsome foursome.
Ye Gads
Ye is reportedly down to his last 400 million. He's bedeviled with child support payments. His budget for masks — and perhaps, in the near future, hoods — is through the roof.
And, his new line of Nazi-inspired Jewish iconography has failed to take off as he'd hoped.
This, even though he hired some hunky Oath Keepers and Proud Boys for his version of pole dancers — The Nazi Stars — to support his brand.
The Orange Julius Caesar
Poor ol' ex-Prez, DJT, has more lawyers on retainer than Hitler had sieg heils. That's gotta be costing a pretty penny. Then there's the bronzer, the hair spray, the hush money, and the non-stop cheeseburger supply.
Fuentes
It's hard to know what's up with Fuentes' finances. But, soon enough that goon will have to part with some loot, and in an unpleasant manner I'll bet. I can hardly wait until he joins the ranks of my people, the penny pinchers. But, then again, once he's a member of that club we'll get him what he needs, wholesale.
Alex Jones
Alex Jones at least is getting some financial aid, due in no small part to my aid campaign. He's also being propped up by the pfennigs his MisInfoWars podcast generates.
Thoughts and prayers, AJ. Thoughts and prayers. We're pulling for you.
The bottom line
The boys are struggling.
That's why they'll soon be marketing their fetching line of yamakas to the chosen people. Because, as we all know, the Jews have all the money. And, they do need their yamakas. Plus, you know how those people are — fashion-obsessed and forever playing, "Keeping-Up-With-The-Jonesenblatts."
As a quick aside, some yamaka company funding will apparently be coming from prominent members of the religious right.
F.A.R.T.Y.
This means of course that Fuentes, Alex, the religious right, Trump and Ye will form a consortium of sorts, henceforth known as F.A.R.T.Y., to launch their new venture.
FUCK OFF
The boys and their cronies have reportedly retained the services of legal eagles, Feinberg, Ulman, Cohen, Kaufman, Oberman, Finkelstein and Fishman — widely known in the trade as FUCK OFF — to help them draw up articles of incorporation.
Fashion statement
It's unclear how F.A.R.T.Y. will craft their new fashion accessory to distinguish themselves from the pack.
If Auntie Jew is the firm's name, knit caps featuring a fetching blend of traditional Nazi colors — red, black and white — may be subtly melded with the Israeli flag's colors of blue and white. And, "yes" everyone knows that white will be in there twice, but … well you can draw your own conclusions.
If it's Heebie Jeebies, then scary Halloween colors of orange and black may be in the mix. How this will work with yamakas is entirely unclear. However, it's well known already that The Tangerine Turd favors orange. How black works in this hideous cabal remains a mystery.
Please join me in the wishing the F.A.R.T.Y. group well. Hopefully they'll be off to a ripping good start in short order. It'll be an absolute blast following their progress.