Tongue-in-cheek recipes

Ingredients

a psyche

triggers

1 cup of amplification emulsion (composed of separate unrelated events)

a few sprigs of « back to the future » thinking (using past events to predict the future)

absence of listening as garnish

Preparation

Step 1: In a large bowl, marinate psyche in painful events such as divorce, death, ridicule, control and unhealthy communication until it becomes sensitive to future events or discussions. Cover bowl and set aside until psyche is ready to be triggered.

Step 2: Remove psyche from bowl and place in a seemingly innocuous event or discussion dish; preferably one made of intimacy, money, child-rearing or project management. Watch carefully for triggers to appear. Hint: The psyche should begin to sour and agitation and/or anger should appear.

Step 3: Now that the preparation is triggered, add the cup of amplification emulsion. Stir rapidly so that innocuous event transforms into «justify my position » (this is why I am right).

Step 4: Once « justify my position » has been reached, transfer to pan and heat on stovetop. Add sprigs of « back to the future » thinking. Once the preparation reaches boiling point, it is highly recommended to remove pan from stovetop and let cool thoroughly. Garnish with absence of listening.

Recommended entrée (Starter): Self-awareness

Recommended whine pairing: Chateau Youdonotunderstand

And for dessert, something that leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

Warning! This dish may become so bitter, your partner may not make it to dessert.

Bon appétit!