Open arms, auto trust used to be my default. My preferred setting if you will. But the universe contrived to show me a lesson about boundaries over and over and over, and FINALLY it has sunk in. SO anyone that now wants access to me, to my energy will be tested. If they are not genuine, are not reciprocators and seek to use me, I wish them away, far, far away from me.

No harm, just find some other sap to sap, my boundaries are now in place, ferociously patrolled and enforced.

The New Law of Can'ts

My list of can'ts, it's not exhaustive:

Can't reciprocate? Leave or stay away no more one sided relationships of any kind.

Can't stop lying? Funk off I'm not going to waste time unravelling your shite.

Can't stop cheating? I'm not monitoring you, just go away, there is no place for you and your betrayal in my life.

Can't give quality time? Don't ask for a relationship from me, it's a situationship at best, maybe an acquaintance, and certainly a waste of my time.

Can't offer intimacy? It's not a relationship, I owe nothing, I may give friendship that is reciprocated.

etc, etc, etc you get the idea, Cant's are you, and your problem, if you can't then neither can I.

There is a long list, I have my peace, and keeping it is my priority.

Access Denied

I have tried, really tried but a lot of the numb nuts that I come into contact with think that my kindness is weakness, my unwillingness to control is an invitation to deceive me, that my neurodivergence is a lack emotional intelligence instead of desire to NOT be a sheep, and that my gentleness means that I cannot fight for myself.

HAVE YOU MET ME? Or are you just been blinded by your insecurities and assumptions.

My strength is that I know what I am capable of yet choose to be kind, soft, gentle, loving and silly because that is who I want to be. I won't be shaped by my abuser, the endless bullies, and the schmucks that think that taking from me is their right. I was giving grace. Giving you an opportunity to learn, to be different, but if that's not what you want, funk off you don't have to listen to me I'm cool with that, but stay away from me.

I could go on, but I wont. Short code is if you interrupt my peace, make my life harder, cause me unnecessary stress you can't be in my life. I'm not here to mother you, save you, or carry you on my shoulders. That's it.

Can'ts out, Peace In

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Originally published at https://squashedfrog.org on November 26, 2025.